--- chapter 3 > [55/147 (55.png)] > > 彼女の普通じゃない部分 > I get the feeling that something isn't right... > > 深淵みたいなものに触れてしまったきがしている > A part of her that's not normal > A thing like a deep abyss This edit seems significant enough that I can't help but wonder if I misunderstood the original somehow. Is there a strong reason to read it as an intuition or emotional response rather than tactile imagery? --- chapter 5 > [85/147 (85.png)] > > 責任を感じて泣き崩れる礼央さんを見て欲が出た > I saw Reo-san feeling responsible, broken down and crying, and I made my mind up. Similarly, the change from a feeling of desire to a feeling of resolve makes me question whether or not I missed something. Did I? > [93/147 (93.png)] > > 提出期限は明後日だから明後日の午後なら時間空けれるよ > But the submission deadline is the day after tomorrow, so I could make some time that afternoon. This utterance is idientical to one in Chapter 4, page 84; in that instance, "But" was changed to "However," but here on page 93, the "But" was kept. As the utterances are identical in the original, they should be identical in the English. >[108/147 (108.png)] > > そんな友だちに対する優しさなら欲しくない > I don't want her to just be friendly to me... The term 優しい occurs in a few key scenes in this work while describing Reo: by Meiko on page 92 and page 131, and by Takase here on page 107-108. The difference between the kindness Reo shows Meiko and the kindness Reo shows Takase is significant, and is the reason here that Takase makes up her mind not to pursue Reo romantically. I would like to preserve the word "kind" here somehow. Looking back, I see that Takase also describes Reo as 優しい on page 54, which is currently marked as "friendly;" I assume that the edit was intended to normalize with that. I would rather normalize the occurrence on 54 to "kind" in order to harmonize with Meiko's use of the word than to have Meiko and Takase use different words. Meiko also uses やさしい on page 78, where it's currently marked as "gentle," but this is not a description of Reo, and is intended as a contrast to 乱暴, so I think it's justified. (It does sort of rankle in my mind: isn't this an important contrast to the kindness Reo shows Meiko that she invokes on page 92? But I just don't think "kind" fits here.) --- chapter 6 > [115/147 (115.png)] > > 平坦すぎて > It's too normal Changing "flat" to "normal" here introduces a repetition that isn't present in the original (普通 ≠ 平坦) and eliminates the physical analogy introduced by 浮き沈み / highs and lows. I really think it should be "flat" here. > [133/147 (133.png)] > > 高潔で女のくせに無駄にイケメンな礼央さんが… > More noble and handsome than any girl has a right to be... In chapter 1, it's "Handsomer than a girl has any right to be." Shouldn't these two occurences by normalized?