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File: DDV doujin.jpg -(179487 B, 680x482) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
179487 No.17601  

Scans done by me. TL done by ralnic. Just need TS'd and QC'd. I want to look it over before it's archived and such.

Raws: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/b9zko1nyrz4fhc5/AAAt38TAmLtnHhnYbheZmUUQa?dl=0

Translation: http://pastebin.com/4ZaUfU0w

>> No.17602  

I forgot to mention it's considerbly YukiMami and a prequel to Unit (http://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/unit)

>> No.17603  

If only most translations showed half as much initiative as this one.

Who knew it suit you so well
Who knew it'd suit you so well

->She's worried Mami will collapse from blood loss. Mami responds that there's plenty of blood on hand if she does.

->She's saying she doesn't accept the situation (presumably of being Yukiho's underling). I think in vampire stories there's this thing where if you suck the person's blood back, you go from underling to some other thing.

our ruling
our rule

Haruka, why do you struggle so much?
Calm down, Haruka, you'll fall agai-

Are you all right now?
Gosh...! Are you all right?

She ran away and went home?!
She [You?] ran all the way home?![? Don't really get this]

->She's saying Yukiho only has till the end of the book to get her requests in, then it's her turn.

Let's see.
Let's see. Well...

It's hard to come up with something.
It's a bit hard to ask, but...

How about I suck your blood once more?
May I...
have just a little more of your blood?

don't wan't
don't want

Ami, quickly! Knock some sense into me!
->She wants to be punched to ascertain whether she's really a masochist.

So you're the type that goes for the gut, huh.
Why would you punch me in the /stomach/...?!

Which means...

->This is Mami, realizing she also loves everyone.

>> No.17605  

Thanks, this is hugely helpful to me. I understand the mistakes I made. Should I edit the pastebin or leave it for comparison?

That last panel on page 22 I think I get now. That must be the back of Otonashi's head at the office. She probably doesn't know Yukiho has run away and they're chasing after her. She's asking why they'd leave the venue to run back to the office. So:

-You left the venue and ran back here?
-Why would you do that?!

Or something like that.

>> No.17606  

Thanks so much, you did a terrific job. I love how much creativity you translate with, and I really hope to read more from you. By the way, was >>14470 yours?

You can edit the paste directly or post corrections here, whichever you'd prefer. Also feel free to reword any of the lines I did rewrite, since I wasn't sure whether you'd see this or not.

Past that, all I can say is I really hope somebody picks this up.

>> No.17607  

I have no idea how you knew that, especially for something that long ago. I'm almost too embarrassed to read that because I was definitely not ready to be translating yet, so I feel glad no one picked it up. I think I will take responsibility and redo it though.

>> No.17608  

Thank you so much for your help. It means a lot to have your support and guidance. I've never posted here before so this is all new to me, and I was unsure if I would even make it to this point. I also hope someone does pick this up. It's been my pet project for some time now.

>> No.17609  

The pastebin has been updated with the TLC suggestions and fixes. So please come on out now, cleaners and typesetters!

>> No.22440  

I'd like to give editing this one a go, if no one minds.

>> No.22453  


Feel free.

>> No.22466  
File: missing_SFX.png -(24754 B, 201x201) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Would anyone mind translating this missing SFX?

>> No.22467  



>> No.22513  


Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated.



>> No.22532  



Who knew you'be so good at it~♪ -> Who knew you'd be so good at it~?/♪ ("you'be" -> "you'd be", put question mark where mosicnot is and move music note under text block)

Well, I thought maybe that would get them out. -> Well, I thought maybe that would get it out. ("them" to "it;" "mouthpiece" is singular)


After Anim@s aired, there was so many events. -> After Anim@s aired, there were so many events (fix verb agreement)

all my dollars down the rain. -> all my dollars down the drain. (add 'd' before "rain")

>> No.22536  

Thanks, updated.



>> No.22541  

If no one minds, I'll rotate the cover to landscape.

>> No.22543  


>> No.22546  
File: pg 07.png -(25432 B, 466x332) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

why does it say "cuberty"?

>> No.22547  


She's stuttering. She mispronounces the word in the original, as well.

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