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File: 00293.jpeg -(177948 B, 1114x1600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
177948 No.20294  

lol fighting games

35 pages, including a leading color page and two-page color splash.

From YuriHime January 2017. Raws pulled from >>20030 .

http://www.mediafire.com/file/xpkalbb2dua53vo/%5BNishi_Asuka%5D_Itsuka_Minoreba_ch_1.zip

>> No.20295  
File: someday_01.txt -(17562 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's a translation.

There's one line I'm not sure of:

> 初心者相手にあったまって…
> I got tilted against a beginner opponent...

Specifically, I'm not sure what あったまって is supposed to me. I've assumed that it's a contracted 温まる, and is used in this case to refer to getting hot under the collar. If it's something else, please let the line be corrected.

>> No.20312  

>>20295
"あったま(きた)って"?
http://ejje.weblio.jp/content/%E3%81%82%E3%81%A3%E3%81%9F%E3%81%BE%E6%9D%A5%E3%82%8B
頭に来る
which comes to the same translation you have (I had to look up tilted, turns out I'm no gamer hah)

>> No.20467  
File: someday_02.txt -(13899 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

lol rhythm games
Relationship triangle forming?

24 pages.
From YuriHime February 2017 Raws from >>20140.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/fydq0pcxtq9ruqe/%5BNishi_Asuka%5D_Itsuka_Minoreba_ch_2.zip

>> No.20777  
File: someday_03.txt -(21073 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Featuring "the talk."
Triangle formed.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/0sdc0c242mtwd4u/%5BNishi_Asuka%5D_Itsuka_Minoreba_ch_3.zip

Note that "Chi●●●n Ramen" is a reference to Nissin Chicken Ramen, a well-known brand of instant ramen in Japan. It might make sense to employ a cultural replacement here, and call it something like "Ma●●chan Ramen."

>> No.20778  

I shall attempt this.

>> No.20782  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/w5qfd9c8jft1qfp/Someday_inQC_v1.zip

I don't think I can clean that two-page spread. Too many colors.

On pg23, there is an untranslated sfx in the second panel.

pg27

> Cornered her off throw oki, and killed her...!

I don't play fighting games, so what does this mean?

>> No.20783  

>>20782

I don't think you really need to alter the splash page(s) if you don't want to. It's mostly promotional magazine stuff. I'm pretty sure there's a tank out—it might have a cleaner spread, if we could get our hands on it. Ultimately, I think it's fine just to use the unedited images. Like I say, there's nothing really important on them.

Pg 23:

> かあ~

blush

In fighting games, there are situations in which your opponent is lying on the ground and needs to get up. This is an advantageous position for you, the player whose character is not lying on the ground, because getting up is a predictable action that can be leveraged for your benefit. The way in which you try to take advantage of your opponent getting up is known as "okizeme." This word, literally meaning something like "attack for getting up," has been borrowed into English fighting game discourse, and is commonly shortened to "oki." Throwing an opponent is an action that frequently leaves them lying on the ground in an okizeme situation, so okizeme resulting from a throw is "throw oki."

>> No.20784  

pg 17:
Remove right sidebar.

pg 20:

Remove upper-left magazine branding

pg 22:

Gamer..? -> Gamer...? (three periods in ellipsis)

pg 28:

Remove top banner

panel three: Capitalize the first letter of each element in the ellipsized list

pg 23:

Remove left sidebar

Thank you very much.

>> No.20786  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/jmg5csczp1p5jel/Someday_inQC_v2.zip

>>20783

Thanks. That explanation helped. I knew fighting games could get complicated but wow. I usually just spam the buttons and hope I get lucky XD

>> No.20787  
File: Someday_Credits.png -(173671 B, 1400x1000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
173671

Here is the new credits page. I just remembered that there are other chapters, so I added the "Chapter 1" and also slightly changed some of the fonts.

>> No.20789  

>>20787
Released.

>> No.20790  
File: 00360.jpeg -(397788 B, 1114x1600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
397788

Hey, Multiball, would it be too much to ask for you to translate this page?

>> No.20791  

>>20790

Long story short: I can do it if you really want me to, but I don't believe it should be included in any release.

This page is a synopsis of the story so far, with a short description of some key characters; a kind of "last time, on Dragonball Z" section whose goal is to help new readers who picked up the magazine follow the story if they haven't read the previous installments. This type of page commonly occurs in Japanese comics magazines, and I an say that it occurs before nearly every chapter of multi-part series that run in YuriHime. These pages are not reproduced in the tankoubon, and so I hold should be considered "magazine chatter," and not reproduced in any format intended for consumption by people who are assumed to be familiar with the series, or to have access to it in its entirety.

If you're curious to know what it's like, I can go ahead and give you at translation. But, as I don't believe the page should be included in our intended release of it, I would do so purely to satisfy some curiosity of yours.

Do you still want the translation? I can do it, if you want.

>> No.20792  

>>20791

Yes, please. I won't add it in the zip, but I am curious. Thank you.

>> No.20793  
File: Someday_pg27.png -(1689138 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1689138

this sentence confused me, can someone explain it to me?

pg 27 "cornered her off throw oki, and killed her"

>> No.20794  

>>20793

I asked the same question. Multiball answered in this: >>20783

>> No.20795  
File: ch_2_sumary.txt -(4440 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>20792

This should give you the general idea.

>> No.20797  

>>20795

Thanks!

http://www.mediafire.com/file/vxruwz127q6ic81/Someday2_inQC_v1.zip

Page 16

> My hands are smarting...

I was gonna ask what smarting meant, but then I looked it up. It means to feel pain. I didn't even know "smart" could be used as a verb. I'm learning so much from this story haha.

>> No.20798  

>>20797

pg 9
Replace japanese on table B as well

pg 10

note in sidebar: [...]that are pronounce[...] -> [...]that are pronounced[...] (add 'd')

Can you mange not to overlap the text in 'What exactly is "Mino"...?' with Shijou's balloon?

pg 16

I've never played something like this before -> I've never played anything like this before

pg 19

panel 2: drumrolls -> rolls

pg 22

panel 3: Can you avoid the overlap here? No overlap is present in the original.

Thank you for your work.

>> No.20799  
File: Someday2_pg22.png -(399193 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
399193

>>20798

Is this close to what you wanted? Without the overlap.

>> No.20800  

>>20799

Yes. Overlap typically denotes that one character is talking over another, and as this isn't the case on pg 10 or 22, I feel that it's important not to introduce any.

>> No.20801  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/89ve5dud61g8vw7/Someday2_inQC_v2.zip

>> No.20806  

>>20801
Released.

>> No.20807  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/sjcscq433bfhnuf/Someday3_inQC_v1.zip

pg13/14 (two-page spread, towards the left)

What is WR4?

pg18

> You always lost to me

Would it be better if it was "You've always lost to me"?

>> No.20808  

>>20807

Pg 12/13:

Won't accept inputs before now -> (Won't accept inputs before now) <add parentheses>

Would it be possible to format the columns under the timeline so that you don't need to stagger their height? I feel that that would make them more legible, in addition to more closely resembling the original. You may be able simply to narrow the columns, but in this instance, it's probably safe to reduce the font size a point or two if you have to.

WR4 is "While Rising 4." "4" in this case indicates which button is being pressed to execute the move. The original, "ライトー", is literally "raitoe," a Japanese abbreviation for "rising toe kick," which is the kind of move being depicted.

It was around this time that it became undeniable that they're not playing a 2D fighter like I'd hoped, but a 3D fighter, which I'm less familiar with. I got help with this one, and I hope it's not too wildly inaccurate.

Pg 18:

If you think "You've always lost to me" is better, I don't have a problem with that.

Pg 19:

Panel 2: pickin -> picking (add 'g')

Panel 4: missing floating text beneath first bubble ("Myao player")

Pg 24 is missing. There's an edit to that, though:

What's so interesting about fighting games? -> What's so fun about fighting games?

Thank you. Chapter 4 should drop within a week or two, and I'd like to get Chapter 5 out before the end of the month. If I can do two per month, then we'll start catching up.

>> No.20809  

>>20808

http://www.mediafire.com/file/7lovjzrxdh2dmi5/Someday3_inQC_v2.zip

> Note that "Chi●●●n Ramen" is a reference to Nissin Chicken Ramen, a well-known brand of instant ramen in Japan. It might make sense to employ a cultural replacement here, and call it something like "Ma●●chan Ramen."

I just remembered this, but was I supposed to use "Ma●●chan Ramen"?

>> No.20810  

>>20809

I leave that decision to the editorial department. In English, "Chicken Ramen" just sounds like a flavor of instant ramen, like beef ramen or shrimp ramen. It's not recognized as any particular brand. Maruchan is probably the best-known brand of instant ramen in at least the US, so that population of English speakers is more likely to recognize "Mar●●chan" as a reference to a bargain brand than a particular flavor. That said, the particular audience for this comic is a bunch of weebs that would probably think it sort of odd that an American brand of instant ramen appear in a Japanese comic, so leaving it intact would preserve the authenticity that audience tends to prize. Either way, it's probably helpful to leave a note somewhere, because no matter whom you try to please, someone's going to end up confused.

The timeline on pg 12 looks much better now. Thank you.

>> No.20812  

>>20810
>>20810
Honestly I don't think most people will have a problem knowing what Nissin Ramen is, they do have quite a brand presence in the US and in Europe especially.
Maruchan on the other hand isn't sold in Europe at all as far as I'm aware. So using it over Nissin would make it slightly more recognizable for US readers while leaving Europeans in the dust.

>> No.20813  

>>20810
>>20812

Okay, so I'll keep it as it is but add a note. Would ""Chi●●●n Ramen" is a reference to Nissin Chicken Ramen, a well-known brand of instant ramen in Japan." be good enough for the note?

>> No.20814  

>>20813

Changing if from "Chi●●●n Ramen" to "Ni●●in Ramen" might be better, if "Nissin" is more likely to be recognized worldwide. My major concern is that "Chicken" won't be parsed in English as a brand name, but as a flavor, instead. Censoring a flavor name makes no sense, but censoring brand names is a well-established practice in Japanese media.

>> No.20815  
File: Someday3_pg09.png -(559405 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
559405

>>20814

Like this?

>> No.20816  

>>20815

I'm fine with this. I'd encourage you to label the sidebar as a "Note:" or a "TL Note:" or something of the like. Even though it's obvious from context that that's what it is, I feel an obligation to mark the text as not being present in the original.

>> No.20817  
File: pg09.png -(559711 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
559711

>>20816

Oh, okay.

>> No.20821  

>>20809
>>20817
Released.

>> No.20823  
File: someday_04.txt -(17239 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

https://www.mediafire.com/?y0qns3yje2phv6d

Does the tier list matter?

Chapter 5 hopefully dropping sometime before the end of July

>> No.20831  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/d6wust8djfxe760/Someday4_inQC_v1.zip

Last page, last sentence

> Are you trying to win?

Would it be better if it was "Are you even trying to win?"

>> No.20833  

Pg 11

The floating text "If she's still using Kuro" was underneath the bubble in the original; you have it inside the bubble. Unless there's a reason you think it should be put inside the bubble, I guess you should move it back outside for authenticity.

Pg 24

Maybe it would be better with the "even," but given the directness and curtness of Shijou's question in the original, I lean towards omitting the "even." There are ways of expressing sentiments in Japanese that are commonly rendered "even" or "actually" or something similar, and all of these are absent in the original.

Thank you.

>> No.20834  
File: Someday4_pg11.png -(658615 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
658615

>>20833

No special reason I had it outside the bubble. With the small font size, I thought it looked kinda strange being outside all by itself. I increased the font size a bit and moved it closer to the bubble so it doesn't look so strange as I had previously thought.

> Maybe it would be better with the "even," but given the directness and curtness of Shijou's question in the original, I lean towards omitting the "even." There are ways of expressing sentiments in Japanese that are commonly rendered "even" or "actually" or something similar, and all of these are absent in the original.

Okay, I just thought it would sound a bit better given the situation, but since it's not present in the original Japanese, then it shan't be present in the translation.

>> No.20835  

>>20807
>>20808

My worst fears have been realized. It turns out that, while "WR4" is an input for an upward kick, it's not a different move than the one that was featured on this page. The correct term for the move being used to demonstrate frame disadvantage is "hop kick."

Not sure what the protocol is in this situation, but it would do my conscience good if we could issue a correction. It's a minor detail, but such details go a long way in niche sports titles like this one.

>> No.20836  

I should at least mention, while the topic of corrections is fresh, that there's a glaring error on the combo charts Shijou shows on her phone in chapter 2; I marked 中 as "any" under the assumption that they were playing a 2D fighter; now that it's undeniable that they're playing a 3D fighter, "any" should be marked as "mid," instead.

>> No.20838  
File: Someday2_pg09.png -(622796 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
622796

>>20836

>> No.20839  
File: Someday3_pg12_13.png -(729626 B, 2799x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
729626

>>20835

Also here are the updated zips:

http://www.mediafire.com/file/j617n5uzcidncfe/Someday2_v3.zip

http://www.mediafire.com/file/x4x3upw3ee9obdn/Someday3_v3.zip

http://www.mediafire.com/file/m4q6owzv4wgu4f0/Someday4_inQC_v2.zip

>> No.20843  

>>20839
Updated & released.

>> No.20845  

Chapter 5 cleaned. Took a peek at chapter 6. Some really intense fighting scenes which look amazing, but probably not something I can redraw which sucks because I was really trying to redraw everything (besides that color page). I can get by with the speed lines, but when you add blood and punches, nope. XD

>> No.20921  
File: someday_05.txt -(16374 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Training montage

So this didn't drop before the end of June. Sorry. But it's here now. We'll see how the pace is going forward.

>> No.20924  

>>20921

Awesome! And no worries about the lateness. As long as it gets done, I'm good. I'll get started right away.

>> No.20926  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/q2qo2x2imfba6k3/Someday5_inQC_v1.zip

pg11 - missing float, panel 2

pg13 - confusing float, panel 5

> She let go of the stick.

Who let go of the stick? Is someone going to let go of the stick in the near future?

pg21 - panel 2

Based on the translation, it seems like the text is dialogue. But the shape of the bubbles look like it supposed to be thoughts. I'm wanted to make sure what you had is correct. I use different fonts for dialogue and thoughts, so the difference just confused me.

>> No.20927  

>>20926

09.png:

Panel 3: You need to get into a position where you have the advantage and close in to do a fifty-fifty. => To do a fifty-fifty, you basically need to get into a position where you have the advantage and then close in.

Panel 5: Do you think we can do better than "grrr" to represent a stomach growling? I don't want it to seem like Mino's the one growling, but I'm not sure how to do that.

11.png:

> (flt) わかる?
> You can tell?

12.png:

second row of diagrams: the "whff" intersects the cat's leg, where it didn't in the original. I don't think it's a dealbreaker, and I can see that you're pressed for space, but if it's easy to adjust the spacing or font size to avoid crossing the line, I think that would be best.

13.png:

Shijou let go of the stick to get up and do her boxing pose. "He put the stick down" might be less confusing, and no less accurate.

17.png:

Panel 2: Tomorrow's finally the big day, uh... => Tomorrow's finally the big day, huh... (uh => huh)

21.png:

My surmise is that Mino's line is spoken aloud, and Shijou's wondering is not vocalized. I think the dots that would be trailing after Mino's line are supposed to be details on the side of the cabinet, like those seen on pg 16. There's a similar blip on pg 19 of chapter 1, and in Mino's hair in places, so I think that's just a highlight that Nishi-sensei puts on the cabinets and other solid black surfaces occasionally. I agree, it's confusing in this instance, but especially considering Mino follows up her line in the next panel, I think she's talking to Shijou.

Thank you.

>> No.20928  
File: Someday5_pg09_ex.png -(346151 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
346151

>>20927

> Shijou let go of the stick to get up and do her boxing pose. "He put the stick down" might be less confusing, and no less accurate.
> My surmise is that Mino's line is spoken aloud, and Shijou's wondering is not vocalized. I think the dots that would be trailing after Mino's line are supposed to be details on the side of the cabinet, like those seen on pg 16. There's a similar blip on pg 19 of chapter 1, and in Mino's hair in places, so I think that's just a highlight that Nishi-sensei puts on the cabinets and other solid black surfaces occasionally. I agree, it's confusing in this instance, but especially considering Mino follows up her line in the next panel, I think she's talking to Shijou.

Ohhh, I get it now. I'll leave both as it is.

> Do you think we can do better than "grrr" to represent a stomach growling? I don't want it to seem like Mino's the one growling, but I'm not sure how to do that.

Something like this? Or did you want me to use the actual word "growl"? Or move it back up to where the original text was?

>> No.20929  

>>20928

I think the new stomach growl is better than the old one. Let's keep it.

>> No.20930  

>>20929

http://www.mediafire.com/file/7burjepk1tzcs9h/Someday5_inQC_v2.zip

>> No.20932  

>>20930
Released.

>> No.20934  
File: pg 09 it's a possible.png -(55767 B, 542x491) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
55767

>>20928

>pg 09, "it's a possible"

I think that's "it's possible" without the "a"

>> No.20937  
File: Someday5_pg09_fix.png -(346101 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
346101

>>20934

Nice catch. This picture was posted above and we still missed it haha

>> No.20938  

>>20937
Home page is updated.

>> No.20941  
File: Someday5_pg08_word.png -(829154 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
829154

I was rereading this and I realized a sentence didn't make sense to me.

> I got the just frame!

Is this a special term used in that situation?

>> No.20942  

>>20941

Yes, this is a mechanic specific to Tekken, the game Iron Cat DestroyerS is based off of. In some combo strings, there's a very small window (something like 1-4 frames, according to what I've seen) during which an input of the next part of the combo cause the next hit to gain bonus damage.

>> No.20943  

>>20942

Ahhhh, I see.

When do you think you'll have the translation for the next chapter done?

>> No.20944  

>>20943

I have a draft of it already. I just need to read through it a couple more times. So anywhere between tomorrow and two weeks from now.

>> No.20947  

>>20944

Awesome, I look forward to it.

>> No.20949  
File: someday_06.txt -(11525 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Not just mid-set coaching, but mid-game coaching. That's banned.

If there were any doubt this was a sports manga, let it be now banished.

Chapter seven will likely take a bit more time, because it introduces a new game, and I'm not even sure what game it's based off of. I have a couple leads, but it'll take some digging. I already know that chapter eight will be a real slog, because they talk about the new game at great length, and it's going to take a lot of research and poking around to try to do it justice. But I'll do what I can.

There are a couple parts I'm worried are sort of awkward, so please keep an eye out for anything that doesn't seem clear.

>> No.20954  

>>20949

http://www.mediafire.com/file/166t1rddr46opms/Someday6_inQC_v1.zip

-pg5 panel 4

> Mino... your movement's too obvious!

Should it be "movements are"? Or is that just how Shijou speaks?

-pg6 panel 4

I changed "aren't" to "should".

-pg9 panel 2/3

> But Mino... can stuff that on reaction, easy!

The wording is a bit confusing to me. Does it mean that Mino can easily react to ZTT's move?

-pg19 panel 1

There are 2 missing sfx translations. I'm guessing one of them is "aaaagh" based previous pages.

>> No.20955  

>>20954

04.png:

She was able to avoid it with a sudden pheonix tance! -> She was able to avoid it with a sudden pheonix stance! (tance -> stance)

05.png:

> Movement's vs. Movements

"Movement's", a contraction of "movement is", is consistent with fighting game parlance here. "Movement" is the part of the game where you manipulate your position (closely related to "spacing," makign sure you end up in the right place). Shijou is critiquing Mino's performance in this particular area.

06.png:

You should think only about what you wanna do during a match! -> You can't think only about what you wanna do during a match! (should -> can't. Shijou is saying that you thinking about your own intentions and nothing else will not result in victory. You should NOT think only about what you want to do; you must also think about what your opponent wants to do. The path to victory isn't in deciding what you want to do, but catching on to what your opponent is doing to do so you can anticipate it and counter it.)

07.png:

Part of the ガ that straddled the gutter between panels 2 and 3 is still present in panel 2, covering part of Shijou's hair.

09.png:

"To stuff a move" is jargon. You "stuff" your opponent's move if you hit your opponent through her move without getting hit yourself. This, in contrast to a trade, where you hit your opponent through her move, but get hit yourself. Mino sees ZTT through out a move, then does one of her own to hit her out of it, stuffing ZTT's side-step sweep.

15.png:

If you can just remember the timing, then if you use buffering, the input itself is easy. -> Once you've got the timing down, if you use buffering, the input itself is easy.

Did you feel like this page made sense?

19.png:

> スイ

swsh

> アアア

aaaaaagh (you guessed right)

23.png:

How'd she manage to get in my head like that... -> How'd she manage to get in my head like that...? (add question mark; check the margins in this bubble, they seem a little tight)

25.png:

> Yeah, Mino-chan, you are pretty great.

Embolden and italicize "are"

I realized the other day that I've been translating 二択 as "fifty-fifty" every time I see it, but I should instead be favoring the more widely-used term "mixup." Like, when Shijou says, "throw a mid-low fifty-fity," it's much more natural to hear "mid-low mixup." I'd like to start replacing instances of "fifty-fifty" with "mixup," but "fifty-fifty" is well-enough established by now that it would be weird to start calling it something else. But it's not so late that we can't start introducing the term. I would like your opinion: do you think we should go back and replace some instances of "fifty-fifty" with "mixup," slowly start introducing the term here in chapter 6, or just switch from "fifty-fifty" to "mixup" wholesale and act like nothing's different?

Thank you, and I'm sorry for my late realization of my mistakes.

>> No.20958  

>>20955

> I would like your opinion: do you think we should go back and replace some instances of "fifty-fifty" with "mixup," slowly start introducing the term here in chapter 6, or just switch from "fifty-fifty" to "mixup" wholesale and act like nothing's different?

I saw this happen with another manga. They just changed the name when they realized their mistakes and made a note to the side explaining the change. I say we do that and make a note that could say something like:

"Fifty-fifty" will be changed to the more widely used term, "mix-up."

Random question: Why did you use "fifty-fifty" rather than "50/50"?

> page 15
> Once you've got the timing down, if you use buffering, the input itself is easy.

Maybe instead:

Once you've got the timing down then use buffering, the input itself is easy.

Having "once" and "if" back to back like you had made it difficult for me to understand. Though I don't completely know what the sentence is trying to say.

Or perhaps:

Once you've got the timing down, if you're buffering, the input itself is easy.

> Did you feel like this page made sense?

One thing for sure is the diagram of buttons on panel 3. I still don't know what order the buttons are in. But that's not really your fault. If you're talking about your translations, the "Salty Punishment" did kinda confuse me. I first read it as a name of some move/combo then I read what Mino's dad said, "Make 'em salty physically". Then I thought it was the act of beating someone up while leaving them mad or pissed. I don't know. The whole page seemed kinda pointless to me. The only thing that seemed relevant to me was Shijou mentioning a "mount" and the fact that Mino was doing a mount in reality.

>> No.20960  

>>20958

> fifty-fifty v. mixup

I don't know if we have to draw attention to it, we can just start slipping it in places. It's probably pretty self-explanatory.

I wrote "fifty-fifty" instead of "50/50" because I tend to write things out. I feel like words belong in dialogue more than numbers. Ultimately, it's a personal preference.

> pg 15

You're right. How about "Once you've got the timing down, the input itself is easy if you buffer it." ?

> Salty punishment

So it sounds like you came as close to understanding what's going on as I could have hoped. "Salty Punishment" is the way I translated the name of the move Mino's doing, "塩漬け絞め". This is based off of a move from Tekken called "闇雲絞め," which in English is called "Ultimate Punishment." The problem is that in Japanese, the 絞め means "hold" or "pin," which makes it obvious that it's a grappling move like the one Mino's doing in the game. The original name, 闇雲絞め, might be rendered more literally "reckless hold," or "reckless pin;" the parody name here, 塩漬け絞め、might be more literally rendered "salt added pin," or "pickling pin." I honestly don't know and have been unable to detect what sort of figurative usage 塩漬け might have in Japanese, so I'd be very grateful if anyone has some idea. Later, Mino's dad is quoted as saying "フィジカルで塩漬けにする", which as far as I know literally means, "make them salty with physical strength." It works well in this situation, "salt" being a common term for frustration and anger and losing among players of fighting games.

This was the best compromise I could come up with that had a chance of sounding like a move in a fighting game, being faithful to the original, preserving the reference in English, and working with the pun with Mino's dad. But because "Salty Punishment" doesn't really sound like a fighting game move (unless maybe you already know the character Nyanpow is based off of and the names of his moves), I'm worried that it's still too confusing for a passing reader to make sense of, lacking the 絞め in the original that signaled more clearly that it was a martial arts move. If it's too hopelessly incomprehensible the way it is right now, then we should fix it so that people can at least understand what's going on, even if it means we lose the pun with Mino's dad, lose the reference in English, or stray further from the original.

>> No.20961  

>>20960

> I don't know if we have to draw attention to it, we can just start slipping it in places. It's probably pretty self-explanatory.

To someone who doesn't play fighting games, it's not really self-explanatory. Although, after 5 chapters of technical jargon and super subtext yuri, I feel that most of the readers who are left actually know a bit about fighting games. So they would probably know what a mixup is.

> If it's too hopelessly incomprehensible the way it is right now, then we should fix it so that people can at least understand what's going on, even if it means we lose the pun with Mino's dad, lose the reference in English, or stray further from the original.

Maybe instead add note to the side or in the credits page that explains the pun. I always enjoy those explanations (if it's not too wordy) that explains more on the meaning of the text that may get lost in translation. I'm sure that there are readers who don't know much about fighting games but still continue to read this for whatever reason. So I think a side note wouldn't hurt, that way everybody would be on the same page.

>> No.20964  

>>20961

If you think we should add a note about the term "mixup", that's fine. Same with the inscrutable pun. In general, I prefer end notes to side notes, because they disrupt the reading flow less, but I'll leave the decision in your hands. If you want some copy, I can work something up.

>> No.20967  

>>20964

Okay, I'll add some notes to the credits page.

> If you want some copy, I can work something up.

What do you mean by "some copy"?

>> No.20968  

>>20967

Copy like marketing copy. Text. If you want me to write out the notes, I'll do that.

>> No.20972  

>>20968

I'm sorry but I still don't understand. Why would you need to write out the notes? Also marketing copy? I looked it up and it's like an advertisement?

>> No.20974  

>>20972

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/copy definition 4: "the text of a news story, advertisement, television commercial, etc., as distinguished from related visual material."

I wouldn't need to write up the notes, you can do it if you want. But if you'd rather I did it, I was making the offer.

>> No.20975  
File: Credits_ex.png -(229573 B, 1400x1296) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
229573

>>20974

Is something like this okay? If not, then please make any changes you see fit.

>> No.20976  

>>20975

I would mention that the mixup/fifty-fifty replacement will happen in the future, maybe something like, "In the following chapters, the more widely-used term 'mixup' will replace the term 'fifty-fifty.'" Unless you want to start replacing it in this chapter; there are plenty of instances of it here.

I think this is fine.

>> No.20977  

>>20976

I was planning to replace the term in this chapter. Should I list each page the change was made or just the first page?

>> No.20978  

>>20977

I trust you. Go ahead and make the changes.

>> No.20979  
File: Credits_ex2.png -(229100 B, 1400x1296) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
229100

>>20978

http://www.mediafire.com/file/6f223gc2781tz9w/Someday6_inQC_v2.zip

Okay, here is what the new credits page looks like. It's the same as in the zip. I changed each instance of "fifty-fifty" to "mix-up" and also applied the changes from >>20955 and >>20960.

>> No.20981  

>>20979

While there is precedent for both spellings "mixup" is more commonly seen in fighting game contexts than "mix-up," so I'd go with that.

Besides that, I think this is good.

Thank you.

>> No.20982  

>>20981

Ah, sorry about that.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/e0a6szaaw6csdff/Someday6_inQC_v3.zip

Also it finally hit me that this chapter reminded me a lot of Happy Tree Friends XD though perhaps not as graphic.

>> No.20983  

>>20982
Released.

>> No.21212  
File: 07_511.jpg -(363242 B, 1114x1600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
363242

https://mega.nz/#!U6hSXBqC!25QF9g8Hj8k0TDtOAzqxCtVD3xc0rLZGvo2Nq87ILn0
RAW for chapters 7, 8 and 9
for fans of Iron Cat Destroyer 7.
And they play Gundam Versus too now.

>> No.21226  
File: someday_07.txt -(14982 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21212

Finally cranked it out.

>> No.21227  

Apparently Gundam VS is nicknamed Zoo because the arcade cabinets are so noisy.
https://matome.naver.jp/odai/2146710788446445501

>> No.21228  
File: hero_twt+nissin.3e5bbe0e.png -(106768 B, 1149x341) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
106768

>>20815
funny coincidence: the Tekken world championship is now sponsored by Nissin.
So Nissin ramen commercials playing constantly during breaks, so any Tekken fans paying attention to the world championship will recognize the brand.

>> No.21229  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/4z31c5lrfr21y9j/Someday7_inQC_v1.zip

Pg20 - The new girl's nametag is untranslated.

Pg23 - Would it make more sense if "good" was changed to "right"?

>> No.21234  
File: Someday7_qc1_comments.txt -(2780 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21229

I did translate the new girl's nametag, but I guess it wasn't explicit enough; the translation is "XXXXII".

Thank you.

>> No.21235  

>>21234

http://www.mediafire.com/file/1nmlrvrcdysn9r9/Someday7_inQC_v2.zip

> This /is/ Japan, right...? (embolden "is")

I also un-italized it (it looked kinda strange since the text was already tilted) but I also increased the font size. I can change it back if you want.

> Survival of the fittest/Faster than ever! (These two phrases are each captioned with the line that is a translation of the other. Is that intentional?)

Nope, I just didn't pay attention to which went with which. Fixed it though.

> I did translate the new girl's nametag, but I guess it wasn't explicit enough; the translation is "XXXXII".

Oh, my bad. I must've misread that. But did you want the x's capitalized? I have them lowercase in the zip.

>> No.21236  

>>21235

06.png:

What on Earth is she fighting with...? -> What on Earth is she fighting against...? (I don't know why it took me so long to figure out that "against" was the word I was looking for this whole time)

12.png:

She taught me fighting games, -> She taught me fighting games. (comma to period)

23.png:

This is the right place, right? -> This is the right place, isn't it?

24.png:

Middle panel, bubble 5: The margins are tight on the right side. It feels like the left side of the text box is in a good spot, but the right side needs to be pulled in. Maybe just reduce the font size?

It doesn't really matter if it's lowercase or upprecase, we should just be sure to be consistent whenever the tag "xxxxII" appears. The differing heights of the lowercase 'x' and the uppercase 'I' provide a contrast that's probably better than having them both uppercase, so I think that lowercase is the right call.

>> No.21237  
File: pg24_hmmmm.png -(591661 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
591661

>>21236

Did you also want to put the "hmmmm" on one line like on page 13?

>> No.21238  

>>21237

For some reason, that one doesn't bother me. Maybe because it's a nice, even rectangle. Same with the "uuuuuuuuugh" on 17.png.

>> No.21239  

>>21238

Haha, okay.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/1g5nv2qcnnldu5c/Someday7_inQC_v3.zip

>> No.21240  

>>21239

Did you mean to include the pg0? I think it should be omitted for release.

Besides that, I think we're good. Thanks.

>> No.21241  

>>21240

Ah, no, I didn't mean to add that. But now if anybody wanted a clean version of that page, there it is, haha.

>> No.21247  

>>21239
Released.

>> No.21250  

>>21247

To keep things consistent, can you remove page 0 from the zip?

>> No.21259  
File: eigo iron cat.jpg -(130023 B, 570x587) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
130023

Chapter 10 and 11

https://mega.nz/#!V75wgCjB!Tl6xbz-dst4w5pE11WkwdRMssj2lH1psNoEGFyhyobY

>> No.21264  

>>21259

Thanks, fam.

>> No.21471  
File: someday_08.txt -(19950 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Another "talk."

There's one line whose meaning I'm unsure of:

> 言ったそばから覚醒して無理に突っ込んで死ぬとか…
> I told you to stay by my side, and you use awakening, rush in, and die for no reason...

I have no clue how I'm supposed to make sense of 言ったそば. I faked it, but my confidence is low. If I could get some word on how to parse 言ったそば, I'd be grateful.

There are a couple other lines whose meaning I'm confident of, but I'm afraid I'm missing a reference:

> お前は…俺が望んだジャングルではない…
> You...Are not the Jungle I was hoping for...

The boar Mino plays is based off of Setsuna F. Seiei and his GN 001 Gundam Exia. I have been unable to confirm whether or not this line is an explicit reference to anything he says in a show or game, so I'm worried that my translation isn't as exact as it ought to be. If anyone knows whether or not there's an official translation that should be more closely mirrored here, please let it be known.

> 斬り…裂く!
> Rip...to shreds!

Similarly, this seems like it's probably a reference to whatever Gundam XXXX's giraffe is supposed to be based off of. My Gundam knowledge is extremely limited, so I'm hoping that crowdsourcing this one like I am here will let me know if this is a reference to anything specific.

>> No.21474  

>>21471

そばから, from Nihongo Bunkei Ziten:

> 「...するとすぐに」の意味。少し古めかしい言い方。

So I think

> 言ったそばから覚醒して無理に突っ込んで死ぬとか…

Should be

> And as soon as I say that, you use awakening, rush in, and die for no reason...
>> No.21477  

>>21471

I want to say Giraffe is based off the Reborns Gundam, which has the GN Buster Rifle as its main weapon(JN Buster Neck here).

>お前は…俺が望んだジャングルではない…

is a reference to

>その機体は俺の望んだガンダムではない!

But I don't think there's an accepted TL for it, or most of the other quotes. "We are Gundam" is the most recognizable line. "We are Jungle" is fine.

>> No.21478  

>>21474

Okay. Now I see how I failed to parse the phrase. Thank you. I'd like to use the line you provide, if you don't mind.

>>21477

Thank you. Do you know if there's anything related to Reborns and 斬り…裂く!?

>> No.21480  

>>21478

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aq8BcMBwNC8

It might actually be another Setsuna line from when he's in the Qan [T] (maybe the Giraffe is that instead of Reborns?). It's just a battle line as far as I can tell though. May have appeared in the show, but I can't remember it off the top of my head, so it's probably okay to translate it as whatever.

>> No.21487  

>>21478

Go ahead. I just changed the beginning of what you had.

>> No.21534  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/n455ww89g6il5dv/Someday8_inQC_v1.zip

> You weren't boost stepping at all...But that's really super-important.

Would it be better if "but" was changed to "and"?

> And as soon as I say that, you use awakening, rush in, and die for no reason...

I used this so do I put schuyguy under QC? I didn't in this version but I can if needed. Should I also include the anon from >>21477?

There are two untranslated sfx on page 20 (top two panels), and one on page 21 (bottom right).

>> No.21535  
File: someday_8_qc1.txt -(2155 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21534

Mostly typsetting.

I think that the "But" is fine. The idea is, "You're not doing this; however, you should be doing it." The "but" stands to introduce a contrast.

You can credit Schuyguy with a "translation check," or "TLC." I think you should feel free to throw our friend Anonymous in there, too.

How do you feel about writing "Double-X Two" as "XXXX?" As you probably noticed, that's how it's written in the original. There's the one point at the beginning where Mino says how it's pronounced, so in this chapter at least, it would be clear, but in future chapters, it might be confusing. In Japanese, the name always appears with furigana, so the pronunciation is never in question, but there's no graceful alternative in English. I worry that writing "Double-X Two" every time loses something of the silliness of her tag, "XXXX," but using "XXXX" every time makes the pronunciation too opaque.

>> No.21538  

>>21535

> 16.png:
> The margins are tight on these bubbles. Maybe reduce text size a pt or two? The small text in panel 2 should prevent it from looking too out-of-place.

Which bubbles are you talking about?

>> No.21541  
File: margins.png -(150796 B, 752x351) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
150796

>>21538

These bubbles.

>> No.21542  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/99lwa90t6pt5t8d/Someday8_inQC_v2.zip

> I think that the "But" is fine. The idea is, "You're not doing this; however, you should be doing it." The "but" stands to introduce a contrast.

If I were to reword the sentence

> You weren't boost stepping at all...But that's really super-important.

to

> You weren't boost stepping at all...But boost stepping is really super-important.
> You weren't boost stepping at all...And boost stepping is really super-important.
> There's no cheese in my burger, and the cheese is the best part.

I still think "and" sounds better. Maybe it's just a personal thing. I can't really explain why other than that it sounds better. Oh well.

> You didn't help him at all, and he still got a good grade.
> You didn't help him at all, but he still got a good grade.

Maybe it depends on the sentence. English is so weird. We can stick with the "but." My brain hurts.

> How do you feel about writing "Double-X Two" as "XXXX?" As you probably noticed, that's how it's written in the original. There's the one point at the beginning where Mino says how it's pronounced, so in this chapter at least, it would be clear, but in future chapters, it might be confusing. In Japanese, the name always appears with furigana, so the pronunciation is never in question, but there's no graceful alternative in English. I worry that writing "Double-X Two" every time loses something of the silliness of her tag, "XXXX," but using "XXXX" every time makes the pronunciation too opaque.

Like in this chapter, you could just include both names then only one afterwards. If you're asking whether "Double-X Two" is okay, then I think it's fine. That is until I overthink it and imagine it as "XX2". But "Quadruple-X" and "Double-Double-X" sounds weird. But I doubt most readers would overthink something like that.

>> No.21543  

>>21542

Personally, I think "There's no cheese on my burger. But the cheese is the best part" sounds perfectly natural. English is weird.

There's no real ambiguity here; the character's name is written in the original with four Roman¹ characters, "XXXX." The pronunciation provided in the furigana is  ダブルエッゥスツー, a transliteration of the English "Double-X Two." Though she has plenty of other options on how to write or pronounce her name, those are the two she chose. We may as well just stick to "Double-X Two," it'll minimize confusion.

¹'X' is actually a Greek character, and wasn't really used in Rome, but that's a technicality these days.

>> No.21565  

>>21542
Released.

>> No.21667  
File: someday_09.txt -(17031 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Out of the jungle.

>> No.21700  
File: Someday9_pg23.png -(468275 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
468275

http://www.mediafire.com/file/nrc75ln0cnxon5b/Someday9_inQC_v1.zip

What Double-X Two-chan said here cracked me up lol

Anyway, sorry for the delay and inactivity. School this semester really got me working.

>> No.21711  
File: 9_qc1.txt -(1099 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21700

Misc. typesetting.

Thank you.

>> No.21718  
File: Someday9_pg22_options.png -(361955 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
361955

>>21711

So for page 22, the protruding bubble on the top right causes some complications. I've made the two texts a bit skinnier so there'll be more room to work with. Your suggestion puts more text on the top half where space is kinda limited. I've provided another option that may work.

>> No.21719  
File: example.png -(294058 B, 1183x432) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
294058

>>21718

I like the shape in the third option, C, the best, but as I'm sure you noticed, it's sort of cramped on the left. How does this positioning look to you?

>> No.21720  
File: 22_third.png -(586748 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
586748

>>21719

Yep, that positioning looks better.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/gkzu33bwyrr53ei/Someday9_inQC_v2.zip

>> No.21722  

>>21720

I think this is ready for release.

Thank you.

>> No.21728  

>>21720
Released.

>> No.21730  
File: someday_10.txt -(16430 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Cliffhanger resolved.

>> No.21756  
File: pg13_circle.png -(1394796 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1394796

>>21730

You finished that fast. I honestly wasn't expecting this for another month or two. I suppose it makes sense since there's not as much technical jargon.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/cxhlrvajwimonw8/Someday10_inQC_v1.zip

pg8, last panel - There was an asterisk in your translation, and I wasn't sure why it was there. I didn't see any kind of note elsewhere. I didn't add it in the final product.

pg13, in the red circle - I find that the 2 bubbles that ZTT says to be kinda confusing. When she says "online", does she mean something like online matchmaking? For the second bubble, is she saying that going against random strangers/players was fun?

pg16, 2nd panel - untranslated sfx

>> No.21757  
File: 10_qc1.txt -(3146 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21756

Yeah, I sort of cranked this one out, in part because I wanted to get to Hanjuku Joshi. The fact that I didn't have to figure out a bunch of specific move names and stuff and double-check whether or not they actually worked the was I was saying they did definitely helped smooth the path.

Here are some suggestions. I address the things you specifically asked about therein.

Thank you for your work.

>> No.21759  

>>21757

http://www.mediafire.com/file/mw4b54ampa4vny4/Someday10_inQC_v2.zip

Thanks for the explanations and re-wordings. It makes a lot more sense to me now.

>> No.21760  

>>21759

13.png:

The orphan "back" in "Thinking back, [...]" really sticks out to me, but I'm assuming that you tried some stuff and this was the best option. What does it look like as "Thinking,/Back, search-/ing for/opponents/you'd played/before was/fun, too."?

15.png:

You're missing a space after the comma between the first "B,B"

>> No.21761  
File: pg13_abc.png -(476294 B, 1114x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
476294

>>21760

Okay, I did another multiple choice kind of thing. Going with your suggestion, the "ing for" line becomes pretty short. I thought up of another idea where I would split up "thinking". It's not something I'd usually do but I think the shaping looks better.

>> No.21762  

>>21761

Yeah, my suggestion looks pretty bad. The hyphenation is weird, you're right, but the block does have a nicer shape. After all that, I don't really have a strong opinion. If you think option C looks enough better than the original, then we can go for it. Otherwise, I think we can keep it as it is.

>> No.21763  
File: Someday10_pg15.png -(476163 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
476163

>>21762

Okay, I'll just keep it as it originally was. So the only change was that space on pg15. I updated the zip.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/221i95lt7waqdco/Someday10_inQC_v3.zip

>> No.21764  

>>21763

Thank you. This should be good.

>> No.21768  

>>21763
Released.

>> No.21885  
File: someday_11.txt -(18527 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Don't get hit.

>> No.21905  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/75d8nl6r88hlik2/Someday11_inQC_v1.zip

I have a several suggestions/concerns about some of the text.

pg02

That's sure impressive -> That sure is impressive. (Maybe this is a colloquial thing but I've never heard someone say the former.)

pg14

Tooru, you want some games, too? -> Tooru, you want to play some games, too?

pg15

missing text on panel 2

pg21

Or some guy you get mixed up with some weird way that becomes your friend in the end. -> Or some guy you got mixed up with in some weird way who becomes your friend in the end.

pg23

She teaches flower arranging. -> She teaches flower arrangement.

>> No.21906  
File: someday11_qc1.txt -(3059 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>21905

Here are some notes, mostly typesetting.

Also, I meant to bring it up in the post with the script, but I forgot; there are two lines in which my confidence is not absolute:

> 京都勢?
> The might of Kyoto?

If どこか勢 is a pattern, then I've failed to discover similar references. This is something of a guess, and I wouldn't be too surprised if it should actually be something like "The Kyoto crowd?" or "The Kyoto crew?" If this looks familiar to anyone, I'd welcome confirmation or correction.

> 猫5戦国時代は最強プレイヤーの一角を担い
> She was chosen to represent one of the regions for the Warring States Era in Cat 5.

This seems highly likely to be a reference to a real-life Tekken tournament, I'm guessing with regional representatives, but I've been unable to locate record of such an event. I'm fully willing to believe that such an event actually happened, but given how the searching I did turned up nothing, I figured it was a safe bet that it didn't. If "Warring States Era" is a reference that should be translated as something else in order to communicate the reference in English, please make it known.

>> No.21909  

>>21906
京都勢 is definitely something like "Kyoto crew"
Hear it used in the master cup 9 trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiMvEeAfoSg

>韓国勢, バーチャル勢

btw master cup 9 was amazing, must watch at least top 8 if you're a tekken fan

>> No.21910  

>>21909

Then let's use "The Kyoto crew" for 京都勢. Thanks for the clarification.

>> No.21911  

>>21906

> A rival you don't want to lose to

Since we were gonna make this past tense, shouldn't it be

> A rival you didn't want to lose to
>> No.21912  
File: 22_vanilla.png -(462982 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
462982

>>21906

Also, is something like this okay? I don't know what you mean by 'vanilla center-justify.'

>> No.21914  

>>21911

The list is weird, yeah, but I think the conjugations I've used are defensible.

Consider the lines in isolation:
"You've had some meetings that have changed you, right? Whether it was a friend you get along with, a rival you don't want to lose to, or some guy you got mixed up with in some weird way who became your friend in the end."

Rephrased:
"Whether it was a friend you get along with, or it was a rival you don't want to lose to, or it was some guy you got mixed up with in some weird way who became your friend in the end, you've had meetings that have changed you, right?"

Each item in the list is a reference to a past event; a meeting Mino might have experienced that changed her. In principle, the effects of these meetings persist into the present; Mino met a friend she still gets along with, or she met rival that she still doesn't want to lose to, or she met some weird guy who became her friend in the end. I do not think that she met a rival that she didn't want to lose to, but doesn't mind losing to anymore. The phrase "a rival you don't want to lose to" is hijacking the "was" in "whether it was" to situate itself in the past, whereas her desire not to lose to the rival endures into the present.

Does that make sense? If it doesn't, we can do something different.

>>21912

In retrospect, the term "vanilla center justify" was poorly thought out. I don't blame you for being confused. What I meant was, your version was clearly more or less center-justified, but with some custom tweaks to make it conform to the curve of XXXX's balloon. I was trying to specify "center-justify without nudging anything off-center" to contrast with the lines that had been nudged out of the way of XXXX's balloon. You seem to have sort of intuited that and provided an example of what I was asking for, in spite of my vague, made-up terminology, so thank you.

The block in question, "Is the fighting game hag not here today?", still feels a little close to XXXX's balloon to me, and it does look sort of odd with all that white space underneath it, but I think I prefer this to making it conform to someone else's bubble. Only a few pages prior, XXXX did, in fact, overlap one of ZTT's text blocks, which I think is some motivation for making it particularly clear that that's not what's happening in this instance. If it makes sense to try to reshape it as taller and thin enough to fit to the left of XXXX's bubble and extend lower, leaving less white space, then that's probably the best road to take; otherwise, I like the version you posted better than the QC1 version.

>> No.21915  
File: 22_test.png -(811509 B, 5864x1600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
811509

>>21914

> In principle, the effects of these meetings persist into the present

This notion never occurred to me. I would've made everything past tense. However, it does explain why you have some verbs in the present tense. I'll keep it as you had written in the qc.

> If it makes sense to try to reshape it as taller and thin enough to fit to the left of XXXX's bubble and extend lower, leaving less white space

I came up with two more options that may fit your suggestion. Otherwise, here's the psd if you feel like playing with it.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/7lemkl64951u13q/22_test.psd

>> No.21916  

>>21915

I think option C in your sampler is good. Let's go with that.

>> No.21917  

>>21916

http://www.mediafire.com/file/7dux6dzxxiah301/Someday11_inQC_v2.zip

>> No.21918  

>>21917

08.png:

The might of Kyoto? -> The Kyoto crew?

Besides that, I think we're good.

>> No.21919  
File: Someday11_pg08.png -(513711 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
513711

>>21918

>> No.21925  

Also, I forgot to mention but I don't have the raws for chapter 12. If anybody could provide it, then that would be much appreciated.

>> No.21926  

>>21925
http://www.mediafire.com/file/n57v56tnb6k3dn7/

>> No.21928  

>>21917
>>21919
Released.

>> No.21929  

>>21926

Thank you.

>> No.21930  
File: somedaypg10.png -(100819 B, 537x456) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
100819

pg 10

>about about

it says "about" twice

>> No.21931  
File: Someday11_pg10.png -(485709 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
485709

>>21930

Nice catch. Thanks.

>> No.21932  

>>21931
Updated the homepage.

>> No.22269  
File: someday_12.txt -(16810 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here is the final chapter. For better or for worse, it looks like we'll never make it to Evo, we'll never meet Shijou's rival who is almost certainly her sister (or some other relation with American blood—she's blonde, after all), we'll never see Mino's heartwarming reunion with her father.

There is one line in particular that I am uncertain about:

まぁやりたくない人は無理にやらなくても…
Well, even if you don't want to, if you force yourself not to...

I feel like I must either be misunderstanding 無理に as it's used here, or I'm missing some context. If anyone can confirm the accuracy of this translation or demonstrate its inaccuracy, I would be grateful.

Seeing as this is the last chapter, there are some special thanks I would like to include:

To Komotonoto, for his subject matter expertise, and being willing to hook up his PS3 just to ensure which moves, exactly, were being referenced.

To the passion and dedication to all the contributors to http://kakuge.com/wiki . I have encountered no English-language repository of fighting game terminology as comprehensive as this one.

To all the contributors at http://www.dustloop.com/wiki , for making one of the best efforts at being one; and particularly for being one of the most valuable English-language sources of Gundam Versus information I could find.

>> No.22279  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/16clj697k5msnvo/Someday12_inQC_v1.zip/file

You're right. It is a bit unsatisfying.

Some concerns/misc:

page 05 - panel 2 - sfx: ハ - Not sure if it was forgotten or part of the other sfx
page 09 - last panel - The kanji for "o" in "okizeme" is different between your translation and the original. Just wanted to confirm the translation.
page 18 - panel 3 - sfx: オ - It wasn't included in your translation. Wanted to check if the translation is still correct.
page 23 - panel 4 - "Well, I'll look for 'em when I've got jack all to do." - Does this mean she'll look for them when she has nothing to do? The "all" is throwing me off.
page 28 - panel(?) 4 - "Since I met you..." - I changed "I" to "I've", if that's okay.

>> No.22280  
File: someday_12_qc1.txt -(3300 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>22279

Attached are recommended changes, including more script changes than usual. Sorry about that, I probably should have given it one or two extra passes before I submitted it.

>> No.22281  
File: two-page.jpg -(1637563 B, 2592x1944) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1637563

>>22279

Also, pages 26-27 are sort of a two-page spread. I say "sort of" because you can parse them as two separate pages just as easily; there's a gutter that spans the binding, and no part of any illustration crosses the binding. Still, I think the three tall, vertical panels, two of Mino and one of Shijou, form a compositional whole that spans the center binding, and it would have been odd if the two pages hadn't been opposite each other. If you feel like stitching them, I think that would be cool, but I don't think it's ultimately that important to do in this case.

>> No.22291  
File: ch12_pg17_options.png -(489538 B, 3000x828) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
489538

>>22280

I provided another option where I moved around some of the words and resized the text. What do you think?

>> No.22293  

>>22291

I like option C on that one.

>> No.22296  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/8nlr701rpt8rc5e/Someday12_inQC_v2.zip/file

Stitching the two page spread was easy since no redrawing had to be done. I wish all of them were that easy.

>> No.22297  

>>22296

Minor touches:

23.png

The true president of the neko manji party will... -> The true president of the Nekomanji party will... (remove space between "Neko" and "manji")

33.png

I guess the hell's cauldron's open, huh? -> I guess hell's cauldron's open, huh?

Thank you.

>> No.22299  

>>22297

http://www.mediafire.com/file/6pn9b71p9neb6sy/Someday12_inQC_v3.zip/file

>> No.22300  

>>22299

Alright. I think that wraps it up for this one.

Thank you everyone for all the work on this series.

>> No.22301  

>>22291
>>22293
>>22299
Page 17:
In the bubble which option C has been chosen for, I think it'd be good to have a space between the ellipsis and the following "If."

"However good your reactions are...␣If the animation doesn't show you what's next,"

Wouldn't "However good your reactions are... If the animation doesn't show you," be enough for that bubble? "you can't tell what's next." finishes the sentence, and when read as a whole, "what's next" is repeated rather quickly.

Page 20:
"A Nyanpow desperation art cancel combo...␣Way too much damage!!" ← Space after the ellipsis, again.

Page 24:
"And...␣I want to see what there is to see once I do." ← Once again.

Page 29&30:
"I'm sure" + "that from now onwards," ← To me "of" seems to be missing from "I'm sure of that."

If the "of" would be odd at the end or at the beginning of a page, then "I'm sure, from now onwards," is also an option. Or it may be left as it is...

I'm behind on this title, though the word choice of "onwards" made me wonder whether the text is consistently British. Alternatives would be "from now onward" or "from now on."

>> No.22302  

>>22301

For the ellipsis, I think I used to put a space after them, if the words on either side were different. Now I don't really care. I just do whatever the script says, as long as it's consistent. I don't know if it's a preference thing or an actual English grammar thing since I've seen both with and without the space.

> Wouldn't "However good your reactions are... If the animation doesn't show you," be enough for that bubble? "you can't tell what's next." finishes the sentence, and when read as a whole, "what's next" is repeated rather quickly.

True true.

> "I'm sure" + "that from now onwards," ← To me "of" seems to be missing from "I'm sure of that."

I feel that this can be debatable. To me, adding the "of" sounds off.

> I'm behind on this title, though the word choice of "onwards" made me wonder whether the text is consistently British. Alternatives would be "from now onward" or "from now on."

That never crossed my mind. Maybe because I sometimes say "onwards" and I'm not British. If I had to choose an alternative, I'd choose "from now on."

But these are just my opinions. If anything, Multiball should have the last say in these areas of concerns.

>> No.22303  

>>22301
>>22302

> Spaces after ellipses

It's true in this script I've been inconsistent. To be consistent with earlier chapters, there should be a space after ellipses; in general, though, I've begun to favor no spaces after an ellipsis, and I think that's why this script is spotty in that regard.

But yes, if any further changes are to be made to this chapter in this regard, they should be to add spaces after ellipses where appropriate, in keeping with earlier chapters.

> Repeated "what's next"

The repetition is intentional, and mirrors the original. You can make the case that it's not necessary to mimic the original's repetition, because Japanese has a greater propensity towards such repetition than English does, but in this instance, it felt to me like an attempt to resemble a catchy line from an action movie. It's common for such lines to have some sort of repetition to make them punchy and memorable.

> I'm sure of that from now onwards

There should be no "of" in the phrase "I'm sure that from now onwards." "That" is not acting as a pronoun, but a subordinating conjunction introducing the dependent clause "from now onwards." It would make sense to say. "I'm sure of that" implies that we are sure of something already stated; the "that" is a pronoun standing in for whatever was stated before. In this instance, something like, "From now onwards, even if we travel far and wide, she'll be right by my side. I'm sure of that." The "that" would be standing in for the prior idea, "She'll be by my side even if we travel far and wide." But the phrase trails off, and we never see its full statement; the "that" introduces the clause that never terminates. "I'm sure that from now onwards, even if we travel far and wide, that right by my side..." It's true the repeated "that" is kind of weird, but it was my best effort at trying to engineer a phrase that would trail off naturally in English.

To get a good idea of the two different roles of the word "that" (pronoun and subordinating conjunction), you can consider phrases where the word "that" appears twice in a row, once in each role. For instance, "I'm sure that that's the case." The first "that" is a subordinating conjunction, and the second is a pronoun.

> onward vs. onwards

People have told me before that "toward" and "onward" are American, and "towards" and "onwards" are British. I've always been skeptical of this, because I was raised speaking American English, and I routinely use "towards" and "onwards" without the least impression that this is unnatural. I'm willing to make the change to "onward," but my opinion on this one isn't particularly strong.

>> No.22304  

>>22303
Thanks for the elaborate explanation of the reasons behind all those choices. I really didn't put that "I'm sure" sentence together well in my head. It's fine not to change anything I listed and sorry for just holding up the process/wasting your time with it.

>> No.22305  

>>22304

No need to apologize. I always appreciate the pursuit of High Quality, and I'm always happy to share a reason for doing something a certain way.

>> No.22311  

>>22299
Released.

>> No.22312  

Hooray!

>> No.22338  
File: Someday11_pg03.png -(491436 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
491436

I had forgotten the English title for chapter 11, so here it is.

>> No.22370  

>>22338
Updated.

>> No.22975  
File: Someday12_pg05_fix.png -(449414 B, 1393x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
449414

>>22951

Sorry for the delay. Here is the fix.

>> No.22982  

>>22975
Updated on the homepage.



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