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File: cover2.jpeg -(475724 B, 1359x1920) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
475724 No.21745  

RAW: http://www.mediafire.com/file/n75aih8nwbav2yj

>> No.22307  
File: Nakamura Yukichi - Happy Nest.txt -(20282 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>> No.22309  

I want to edit this.

>> No.22332  


Some of the close-ups of their hands cracked me up XD


> What are you looking for Satsuki for?

This sentence kind of trips me up. I know what Yuka is trying to say, but could we use instead

> What is your business with Satsuki?

or something of the like?

>> No.22335  
File: happy_nest_qc1.txt -(1332 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.


Punctuation and adjustments to the text.

For the line on 020.png, I think your suggestion is fine, but that Yuka's line should be more informal. Something like, "What do you want Satsuki for?" or "What's got you looking for Satsuki?"

>> No.22337  


> What do you want Satsuki for?

I like this.

I added the 'pass by' sfx on page5 I had forgotten. I also added a comma after 'Yuka' on page6 to match the comma after 'Satsuki.'

>> No.22342  



I was looking forward seeing you join the production office. -> I was looking forward to seeing you join the production office. (add "too")


...What does she look like again...? -> ...What does she look like, again...? (add comma)


walk straight pass -> walk straight past


Eat some meat ,too! -> Eat some meat, too! (space after comma, not before)

>> No.22344  



The struggle when you edit in the psd but then don't save it as a png.

>> No.22349  
File: happy_nest_qc3.txt -(571 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.


The struggle is real.

>> No.22357  


Ohhhhhh, you meant that 'to'. I thought you meant 'too' but I didn't see it in your example (and I obviously didn't notice the small 'to'), so I was confused for that part. But I gotchu now.


>> No.22366  



How that hand and voice/touches me/and kisses me -> How that hand and voice/touch me/and kiss me (fix verb agreement)


But I won't tell her that no matter what. -> But I won't tell her that, no matter what. (add comma)

I think this is the last of them.

>> No.22388  



You know what they say. Fifth time's the charm.

>> No.22391  


I think so, in this case.

Thank you for your work.

>> No.22411  


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