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File: the_girls_arcadia.jpg -(571405 B, 1814x2540) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
571405 No.22423  

RAW: http://www.mediafire.com/file/qcfn2p99ggqvwig

>> No.22553  
File: arcadia1.txt -(12455 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

I translated the first chapter if anyone is interested. Despite all the foreshadowing, the ending to the first chapter took me a bit by surprise. Kotoko didn't seem like she'd let a strange woman ravish her, but I guess that's the point of the story. I think I translated the last bit too crassly, but I really struggled to think of a good way to put it. Maybe I should struggle some more, but maybe I like it the way it is.

>> No.22559  
File: arcadia2.txt -(13090 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's the translation for the second chapter.

>> No.22562  
File: arcadia3.txt -(9336 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's the third and final chapter.

>> No.22685  

will edit this

>> No.22740  


>> No.22744  


Isn't that just awful? -> Wasn't that just awful?

I'm talking about the last mixer! -> I'm talking about the mixer from the other day!

"Right, Kotoko?" is the text next to Kanako underneath the bubbles, "I said I was sorry!" goes in the bubble to the left, and "Come on, please?" is the text underneath.

For all the talk about attracting guys at the mixer, -> For all the talk about attracting guys,

It was -> At the mixer

That one girl who go them all. -> Another girl stole them all away.

step step step -> clonk clonk clonk
It's the sound of someone walking up metal stairs.

You see... -> Look

Your place is close to the university after all. -> Your place is close to the university, right?

I can pay you. I won't cause any trouble. -> I can pay you, so I won't be a burden.

I permitted -> I allowed her

My paradise to be eaten into. -> To encroach on my paradise.

>> No.22745  

page 10 (1st panel) and last page last panel - really poor 'redraws'

>> No.22746  

page 10 - i meant 2nd panel, below "open"

>> No.22960  

Ummm, are you gonna fix it?

>> No.23094  

different person here, will edit

>> No.23305  


>> No.23329  

Looks fine to me.
BTW: I have now better raws for this manga. Uncompressed pics in higher resolution. Let me know if you need them.

>> No.23331  


>> No.23334  

pg202 bottom panel
Tsusuji-san > Tsutsuji-san

pg206 first panel
at anyrate > at any rate

>> No.23335  
File: 207_1.png -(200503 B, 907x519) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

pg 207

>she would have caught cold...

she would have caught a cold...

>> No.23339  


"Catch cold" or "caught cold" (often "catch your death of cold") is a common idiom in English, and isn't an error.


>> No.23348  

was pg 202 and 206 fixed?

>> No.23350  

>>23348 Nope, not yet

>> No.23437  

was this ever fixed????

>> No.23535  
File: index-206_1.png -(595060 B, 1428x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>> No.23536  
File: index-202_1.png -(800105 B, 1428x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>> No.23537  


>> No.23544  


>> No.23545  

pg179 3rd panel
girl friend > girlfriend

pg182 2nd panel
A bought a lot.
"I bought a lot." ?

pg191 panel2
center text in bubble

>> No.23680  

Is anyone working on the third chapter? If not, I can probably get it done in the next few days.

>> No.23682  

Once I read the translation for the third chapter, I just couldn't stop myself from working on it. Sorry if there's a proper etiquette / wait time, but I really couldn't help myself.

I can't believe it's been over a year since it's been translated! This story was fantastic. The narration was so beautifully bittersweet.

Anyway, nobody is here to hear my two cents. Onto the chapter itself!

Chapter 3 looking for QC:

Full disclosure, I made quite a few changes, though they were all punctuation changes, with the single exception being:

"I normally passed the time normally with friends." -> "I usually passed the time with friends."

On p98, there are two SFX, "Chak..." and "Kachak". I think these would be better off switched to descriptive SFX. Personally, I'm not sure what they're supposed to be representing currently.

On p101, I think the broken sentence of
"These are the (break) flowers (break) I went out to buy."

is a little awkward, but I can't think of a better way to do it.

Let me know if there are any suggestions, or if I need to go back and rework anything.

>> No.23690  

2 pages extra

>> No.23694  

I'd be happy to edit / typeset this as well if someone wants to translate it.

>> No.23719  

I haven't been around in a while, but I want to say thanks to the people who've worked on this.

Hey, I'll gladly listen to your two cents, hehe.

For some reason I thought -> It struck me

Missing "Delicious" in the top left

Excuse me! -> Pardon me! (There's not much difference, but I thought "pardon me" might sound better. Feel free to leave it as is if you prefer.)

I don't know if there's room, but it'd be cool if you can stick a heart between "uniform" and "snapshot" like in the original.

I don't want to rejected. -> I don't want to be rejected.

"Chak" and "Kachak" are for opening doors. Or actually they're "Cha" and "Gacha" in Japanese, if that's better. I've seen "Open" used before, which I don't think sounds very good, but I don't mind if you want to use it.

I usually passed the time with friends. -> I ordinarily passed the time in a normal manner with friends
Without revealing how boring I was, -> Hiding the fact that I'm a boring person.
I was happy by myself. -> Even though I was happy to be alone.
My original translation was a bit messed up. She's essentially saying, "Even though I was happy being alone, I passed the time in an ordinary manner with friends to hide the fact that I'm a boring person."

Yeah, that part is tricky. A plain translation would be, "I, well, went out to buy flowers." The problem is how it's broken up into bubbles and specifically how flowers is set apart in its own bubble. I think stylistically it's preferable to keep "flowers" set apart in that bubble, but phrasing the sentence to work like that is awkward.

The Girls' Arcadia

Hey, Kotoko~

Doing laundry


Would you braid my hair for me?
I can't do it at all.



Wow, amazing!


It looks cute...

It must be nice being so clever.

I started out really clumsy.

でも おばあちゃんやお母さんが本当にいろいろ教えてくれてね・・・
However, my grandma and mother truly taught me a lot.

Err, I think I said something strange again...


I think

I love that sort of...
Adorable side of you.


Hey! Forget about the laundry, let's go out!

>> No.23720  

Awesome, thanks for the corrections! Glad to see you're still around.

I left the SFX as is, as recommended. All other changes made.

I changed "These are the / flowers / I went out to buy." to "These are the / flowers / that I went out to buy." In hopes that the "that" helps to more naturally break up the sentence. I also enlarged the word "flowers" a bit, as I realized the word is larger in the raws as well.

Do you just want to be credited as Anonymous?

Also I'll get that extra done very soon, thanks for the translation!

>> No.23724  

Anonymous is fine.

>> No.23725  

Alright I wrote "Yuri Project Anon" for both Translation and Quality Checking. Hopefully the chapter should be good for release!

>> No.23726  

One more little thing.
light -> lights

I do think the flowers line reads better now.

>> No.23728  


>> No.23729  

Nice! I think you did a good job on this. Thanks for editing.

>> No.23739  


>> No.23763  

Here is the twitter extra! I had completely forgotten about it until today.

This was kinda awkward to edit because the whole thing is handwritten and drawn. It almost looks like it was done in crayon. I did my best to keep the look of the "messy" and "neat" SFX. For the bubbles, I couldn't find any suitable fonts that gave the fringy look while still being appropriate for manga, so I just went with what we used in the main series (with some mild variation, depending on what felt right). Hopefully it's okay like this. If not, just let me know what I need to change.

Also, there are apparently six more chapters in the volume version (focusing on other characters, such as Kotoko's friend). If somebody provides the raws, would you be interested in translating them?

>> No.23767  

Cool! I think it looks nice, but losing the handwriting is unfortunate. I took a shot at looking around for fonts:
I think it's fine the way you did it, though, so I wouldn't stress over it and just keep it like that if nothing seems like a real improvement. The "messy" and "neat" SFX did turn out nice.

I'm pretty rusty, but I should be able to translate the rest if raws are posted.

>> No.23768  

Ah, we do have a lot more flexibility if we don't go for the fringed text look. Updated the mega link with a handwritten fonts version, labelled as "3.png" and "4.png".

I kept the "Love!!!!!!!" at the end in the same font as before since it felt appropriate, but everything else was adjusted.

Let me know which version you prefer, or if you want me to make any further adjustments.

>> No.23773  

Here's the rest of the anthology. Side-stories and such.

>> No.23775  

I'd say the second one.

Damn, guess I got to quit being lazy and get to work. Thanks for the upload!

>> No.23799  


>> No.23818  
File: arcadia4.txt -(13053 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 4. Sorry I'm moving pretty slow on this. My translation technique is, whenever I come to a part that I have trouble translating, I play osu for 5 hours. I'll try to be a bit quicker in the future.

It might be worth noting that Satou has sort of a JK style of speech and often draws out vowels at the end of phrases. Initially I tried drawing out some words in English, but decided against it in the end since I thought it might come out awkward. Miki's speech is initially fairly curt, but she starts talking more like Satou when they're in university.

The rest of the tankoubon is cute and has a bit of drama here and there, but honestly the stories are all shorter and I'd say less satisfying than the main one. At least the side characters get some development even if their stories aren't particularly compelling.

>> No.23837  
File: arcadia5.txt -(12372 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 5. I don't know, I feel like I'm going to hate my translation choices the next time I look at it, but I've already done a few revision passes so I'm just going to go with it.

>> No.23839  
File: arcadia6.txt -(3636 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

And here's chapter 6 since it's short.

>> No.23840  

Awesome, thanks for all the hard work! I'll start one these today.

>> No.23848  

Here's chapter 4!

Not quite how I expected this story to play out! It's interesting, but I wish it had a continuation.

>> No.23849  

Nice! GJ! Otsu! Etc! Seriously though, nice job with the editing.

The whole "be yourself" message was corny, but seeing Satou melt as Miki explained how she's not like other girls made it worth it. If there's ever a sequel, it'd be nice to get Miki's side and see her respond to a confession or something.

I'm still working on chapter 7, but it should be done in a day maybe two. My goal is to finish translating this before Christmas.

Anyway, here's a few things for chapter 4:
This is super unimportant and not something you need to bother with, but it'd be cool if the M had like a droplet coming off it like 溶 in the original.

Don't "university students normally get boyfriends?" -> Don't "university students normally get boyfriends"?

I did say -> I did say that.

Some things you have to try to understand -> "Some things you have to try to understand."

>> No.23850  

All changes made and updated! Good catch on the melting effect. I should have the credits page up in a few minutes.

Yeah, it's a bit cliche but it was still nice. Agreed, it'd be nice if the story got a continuation from Miki's side. It wouldn't have made sense to have a confession this chapter, given that it's mostly focused on Satou's confidence issues and repressed feelings, but having it revolve so heavily around her being in love with Miki, and then doing nothing to resolve that, does make the ending feel a bit inconclusive.

No rush on future chapters! I figure this series never really had a consistent release schedule to begin with, and we're in side-story territory now anyway. That said, I'm always happy to have more chapters to work on.

>> No.23851  

The melting effect looks cool. I haven't noticed anything else.

Clearly the sequel will have to involve Miki meeting Kotoko's and Kana's girlfriends, and then Satou convincing her that the only way to understand it is if they start dating as well. Also, Satou's given name will finally be revealed, but Miki will struggle to say it.

There's no schedule or anything to hold to, but it's a matter of personal pride for me not to spend a billion years putting this stuff off. Also, I'm not sure how much I'd be able to do around Christmas and New Year's.

>> No.23852  
File: arcadia7.txt -(7691 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 7. Like Aoi, I too have no idea what this strange fluid is that's leaking from my eyeballs. Anyway, it's the last of the side character chapters.

I tried translating the magazine covers, but her name is the only part that matters. Don't feel like you need to mess with it if you don't want to.

>> No.23862  


>> No.23865  

Here's chapter 5!

On page 243_1.png, you translated it as "I can't help it / if I can't remember it, can I?" In this case, would it perhaps make more sense as "/ if I can't understand it, can I?"?

Personal Ramblings:

This chapter has made me break my golden rule of not working on any cheating related stories. Were I reading this instead of working on it, I probably would've closed it right in the middle of the chapter.

Needless to say, not a huge fan of the cheater girl, or the fact that the protagonist was completely fine playing the homewrecker, and how that was completely brushed over. Hard to root for her after that. Well, I guess a homewrecker isn't necessarily a cheater, and Mao seems sweet, so all's well that ends well. Mao was probably my favourite part actually, if for no reason other than her brave confession and subsequent embarrassment at the end.

>> No.23866  

Thanks! I'll take a closer look at this shortly.

I want to mention that I messed up Tsutsuji's name in chapter 4. Her family name should be Kida, not Honda. It's a pretty basic kanji mixup, so I'm going to try to be more thorough and check for any similar mistakes. I also might try using one of those "spellchecking" devices while I'm at it.

Honda -> Kida

Honda -> Kida

Honda -> Kida

Honda -> Kida

>> No.23867  
File: index-161_1.png -(420600 B, 2220x3106) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's the updated page!

>> No.23868  

I found another mistake in chapter 4
How could any boyfriend be a match for her -> Doesn't she know they're not for her? Nevermind getting a boyfriend.
(I thought boyfriend was the subject, but it should be her going to a mixer that's the subject and what doesn't suit her. Or as I would put it, "Screw boyfriends, why the fuck would she want to do that?")

Now onto chapter 5. Thanks for bringing up that line. She is saying she didn't remember what happened. I'm going to reword parts of that scene so it hopefully makes more sense.

So starting today -> So starting today,

Little square in the middle right panel is blank. Should be "Back room of her workplace (book store)."

mmh... -> mmh?
What's that mean? I don't get it. -> What's that about? No clue.

I can't help it. -> What can I do?

I can't help it -> If I can't remember
If I can't remember it, can I? -> I can't remember.

Missing heart after "kana-san"

Her face is beautiful! -> I love her face!
(closer translation to emphasize it's more preference than saying she's objectively beautiful)

In the last bubble/square, put a period at the end of the first part.
I guess you could say. -> You could say...

It takes a certain degree of distance to feel at ease. -> Having a comfortable degree of space
My relationship with Yoriko-san was exactly what I needed at the time. -> Made my relationship with Yoriko-san exactly what I needed at the time.
(My brain's parser didn't work so well on the first run, but this and the bottom of 248 is all one sentence in Japanese. I broke it into two to keep it from being too crazy in English.)

Oh, I got a message from work. -> Oh, it's a call from work.

Terrific. -> Hurray

Where should I get a haircut? -> Where will I cut my hair?

Is "Good work too!" an intentional change? I'm fine with it if you prefer it.

Even for me. -> Even though it happened to me...

You helped my realize something, -> Thanks to you I was able to realize something,

Phew, that was actually a lot of stuff. Sorry about all that. I'm going to go over the other two chapters as well to try to avoid any silly mistakes.

Excellent job on the edit, though. I'm always impressed by how it turns.

As for the cheating, it's a similar scenario to the first story with Tsutsuji. There are actually a lot of parallels and similar scenes between the different stories, it's sort of funny. As a side note, Kana ends a lot of sentences with kana, and it hit me, she ends sentences with her name.

>> No.23870  

All changes made! Ch 4 and Ch 5 mega updated.

The "good work too." was completely unintentional. I think I must've misread it.

No worries on making changes. It's really no trouble at all to go back in and fix anything. All the painful stuff (redrawing, primarily) is already done.

Much appreciated! That's nice of you to say. There are still some areas where I can feel my inexperience, but I do try to make up for that by putting a lot of effort in.

I'll get the credits page up today or tomorrow depending on when I have time.

>> No.23874  
File: arcadia6revised.txt -(3665 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

I revised chapter 6 a bit. Here's the translation.

>> No.23875  
File: arcadia7revised.txt -(7697 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Same for chapter 7.

>> No.23878  

Chapter 5 is missing a credits page.

>> No.23882  

I updated chapter 4.

>> No.23883  

Ah really sorry about that! Updated.

>> No.23887  

Here's chapter 6!

I made one minor change on the second page:

"I knew better" and "was enough to dazzle anyone."


"I know better" and "is enough to dazzle anyone."

having in past tense makes it seem like, at least to me, that she's recalling a story from the past, or that what she's saying is no longer the case.

Maybe "is enough" -> "would be enough" alternatively, if you feel that's preferable.

Also, the kindle raws have a lot of jpeg artifacts. I tried using waifu2x to denoise the pages, but it seemed to cause more issues than it solved. Namely, it completely changed the colour of Tsutsuji's hair in some panels. I don't think it'd be a worthwhile tradeoff, so I left it as is.


These two remain my favourite couple. I find the author takes a very romantic and tender approach to these two in particular, and it's very charming.

>> No.23888  

I have a question about chapter4 and chapter1. In chapter1 pg195, Satou and Miki's relationship seems stranger and hostile. Is it from a story change or a difference in translation choice?

>> No.23889  

From chapter 1, it's clear that Miki knows Satou, as she refers to her by name. However, the only time Satou is mentioned during the first three chapters (to my memory at least) is specifically in regards to when she said that to Miki. It's understandable to infer that the two of them are not friends, but that was never actually stated. As we see in chapter 4, they actually are friends, they just had a bit of a tiff. I wouldn't classify it as a story change, or a translation choice.

>> No.23890  


>> No.23892  

I haven't paid too much attention to tense, but I think I've generally been doing past tense for more of a narrative voice and present tense for immediate thoughts. I'm fine with it being present tense here, especially if it was confusing before.

"Cut it out, it's embarrassing!" is from Tsutsuji, so I think it should be closer to her speech bubble.

Sort of nitpicky, but I think it'd be better if the "ohhh" in Kana's bubble were straighter. I imagine her sounding sort of deadpan here, and in the original the あー is fairly neat and straight.

I think Miki and Satou may not have originally been meant to be a couple. That might also explain why Miki calls her Satou instead of her given name, but that's not particularly meaningful. Also, chapter 4 takes out the "lol" and adds an "I think" to the shared line. Another possible explanation is that Miki's perspective is just different.

After reading chapter 4, I thought I may have missed the tone when I translated chapter 1, but I don't think I did. She literally says "what guys like can eat shit" and calls Satou an idiot. "Wispy woman" is pretty whatever, though, since I have no idea how to translate "yurufuwa onna" into English. Basically, she's referring to Satou's style/personality. In any case, Miki is definitely pissed at Satou in chapter 1.

>> No.23893  


Agreed on both points. For some reason I thought it was Kotoko's line in response to being leaned on, which wouldn't really make much sense. My mistake.

>> No.23894  

Looks good! Yeah, I considered it might be Kotoko's line as well with how it's ambiguously placed in the raw, but context and style of speech points to Tsutsuji.

I have finished translating chapters 8 and 9, but I think I'll wait a bit so I can take a fresh look for revisions. I should have them uploaded tomorrow. No rush on editing, of course.

>> No.23897  
File: arcadia8.txt -(16260 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 8.

>> No.23899  
File: arcadia9.txt -(4994 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's chapter 9. Unsurprisingly, it's been hard to work on stuff today.

>> No.23900  
File: arcadiaafterward.txt -(2675 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

And here's the afterward.

>> No.23901  

hq raws: http://www.mediafire.com/file/y1f0jivqglzv36g

>> No.23902  

Here's chapter 7!

On the magazine cover, I left "young" untranslated, because the magazine already has the title in english running behind her head, so it'd look weird to have "young" twice in the same language.


This author loves unrequited love stories. Lots of sadness all around. It's definitely pretty heartbreaking the way Aoi let her feelings of inferiority separate them, and that she knows it and regrets it.

>> No.23903  

Awesome! Yeah, makes sense to leave that out.

I called my closest friend -> Who called me her closest friend

Who reached her hand out to me. -> And reached her hand out to me.

Missing the music notes on this page.

You can erase the dash next to "take a" in the top left since it's part of the Japanese text.

Mh? -> Hm?

When I was with her -> When I was with her, I don't know what I felt.

I didn't know if it was love, admiration, envy, or jealousy, or all of them together, -> Was it love? Was it admiration? Was it Envy? Was it Jealousy? Or was it a combination of them all?

It'd -> It's

hadn't -> hasn't

That had changed was... -> That has changed is...

couldn't -> can't


Guess you need some abject misery to make the cute stuff sweeter (not to mention stave off entropy, however that works).

On the topic of things the author loves, this is the manga in a nutshell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o13o2L1myDo
(bunnies and "ehhh")

>> No.23904  

Updated! All changes made and added a credits page.

Haha! That is pretty apt.

>> No.23906  

Looks good! I haven't noticed anything else.

I was hesitant about coming back to translate the rest of this. I've hardly even read any Japanese in months, and personally I haven't been doing too well. While at the start it was a bit frustrating trying to wrangle Japanese into sensible English, overall I think it went fairly well. I wouldn't mind doing some more translations, so if you or any other editor need a translator for something, let me know.

>> No.23907  

Awesome, much appreciated! It's been great working with you. I think the translations turned out well. Obviously I can't comment on how they compare to the japanese, but at least in terms of reading experience in english, I think they're good.

I should have the last two chapters and the afterword done within a week or so.

That's a good question! I'm not entirely sure. If you like the author, somebody did post "Ami-chan's Diary" here, if you want to read through it and see if it interests you.


>> No.23908  

It's been good working with you, too. I don't know much about the ins and outs of editing, either, but I think you've gone out of your way on this and it really looks nice.

I read Ami-chan's Diary. Honestly, I think it's boring. It's still ongoing, so maybe it'll get more interesting, but six chapters of essentially waffling over confessing doesn't do it for me. At least with Arcadia, there's some drama and each story has its own thing, but Ami-chan's Diary just feels bland to me. That said, it is pretty cute and has a nice art style, and I wouldn't mind working on it if you want to do it.

>> No.23909  

I haven't read it myself so I'm not especially particular one way or the other. No need to force yourself if you don't find it appealing.

I guess my suggestion would be to check out some of your favourite authors' pixiv profiles and see if they have anything that interests you. I've actually been having the same conversation with schuyguy on finding series that seem appealing. It's more difficult than I thought it'd be!

>> No.23913  

I'll try catching up with Yuri Hime and see if there's anything that looks good and hasn't been translated. I think there's a new Ogino Jun manga. Might be interesting if no one is working on it.

>> No.23918  

Here's chapter 8!

On p131, I feel like the joke of "living off of cup noodles lately... along with T**** no Sato and A****..." kind of falls flat since whatever "T*** no sato and A****" is supposed to mean can probably be inferred by a native reader, but for an english reader, , it just sounds a bit like nonsense.

On p134 (and 154), I did my best to recreate the puffy effect of the original SFX, but I'm not quite sure it looks right. Let me know if I should revisit it.

On p136, the narrative text feels a little awkward. Originally it's written as

"Such thoughts / running through my mind / The next day came before I knew it. That's bad too"

I adjusted it to "With such thoughts / running through my mind, / The next day came before I knew it. That's bad, too."

to try and make the sentences flow together more naturally, but it might still feel a bit weird? Not sure.

On p138, you didn't write anything for it, so I just left the vertical line in the first bubble. It does seem a bit awkward though, as it's essentially a surprised pause, but we don't really write it that way in english.

On p139, I changed "I recognized you immediately" to "I recognized you right away" just because having to hyphenate the word "immediately" looked really awkward. Hopefully it's okay.

>> No.23921  


Thanks for bringing those things up, I'll address them below. One thing I want to ask about, though, is what you think about using the word "bad" in this. I don't know if you've noticed, but as sort of a recurring theme she refers to herself and her situation as "yabai" in Japanese, which I translated as "bad". It's a slangy adjective that generally means, "oh shit, this is bad." Do you think "bad" stands out? Do the lines make sense? I'm thinking "not good" might be a more distinctive expression, but I'm not sure. Let me know if you have any ideas on this, since I think it's an important part of the writing.

I wasn't sure what the second snack was, but after looking through a bunch of Japanese snacks, it's probably Meiji Apollo. Might as well take out the censored thing and make it "takenoko no sato" and "apollo" with a note that they're both conical chocolate snacks.

When was the last time I used a rice cooker? -> I wonder, when was the last time I used a rice cooker...?

I think the SFX looks good!

With such thoughts -> The fact that
Running through my mind -> Despite worrying about these things

The next day came before I knew it. That's bad, too. -> The days continue to pass by before I know it is also bad.
(I messed up this part, so thanks for bringing it up. This should be a more accurate translation, but let me know if it still sounds awkward. I believe she's lamenting that even though she's unhappy with the way things are, time seems to fly by before she can do anything about it.)

Maybe an ellipsis for the vertical line?

Music note on the text message. I should probably include them in the translation ♪

If she finds out my apartment is... -> If she finds out how bad my apartment is...

>> No.23922  

Updated the mega!

Hmm... regarding "bad," it may be a bit nebulous, but replacing it would be difficult. Like, "[snip] is also bad" can become "is also not good," but "I've been getting a lot of not good feelings" would sound unnatural.

I guess the issue is that it's being used to describe a few different things. Her apartment is bad (as in, disgusting), her excited feelings toward class rep is bad (as in, concerning), her lack of fixing her worries is bad (as in, disappointing), etc.. I can't really think of a better way to convey that while keeping the consistent theme of her general dissatisfaction / worry. On the other hand, "bad" is such a common and non-specific word, people might not even pick up on the fact that it's supposed to be a permeating theme. I'm not sure what the right course of action is here. I think "bad" works, but if you'd prefer to take some time to think about a possible alternative, that's fine too.


Regarding the line on p136, I think it conveys the idea more clearly, but I think it might be better to explicitly mention that the lack of change is bothering her. Maybe like "The fact that, / despite all of my worrying, / the days continue to fly by with nothing changing, is also bad."

I think this helps to make things a little more straightforward. I think part of the issue is the sentence structure itself. It's a pretty long thought, with "The fact that (X) is also bad" having quite a bit in between. It might help to introduce her feelings on the matter in the beginning? e.g. "It's also bad that, / despite all of my worrying / the days continue to fly by without anything changing."

(Regarding "despite worrying about these things," I think the previous line "about a lot of things" is a bit too ambiguous to continue it into this sentence. Maybe "I've been getting bad feelings about a lot of things in my life." would help to specify a bit more, in which case "these things" would feel less redundant. I guess personally, having her say "I'm worried about things" twice without any further specification makes me think "what things exactly?" But I might just be reading too much into it.)

Regardless, I've updated the mega with the line you suggested, so if you'd prefer to just keep it, that's totally okay too.


Sorry about the music note. I see them when I open the page, but by the time I'm finished erasing the text, they completely escape my mind.

>> No.23923  

I think one thing that might help to make the term "bad" stand out a little more, is when Class Rep uses the term, we could put it in quotations? That way, it's pointing out that this is a term that Satomi keeps using, and that Class Rep has noticed that. E.g.:

Who's told you it's bad? -> Who's told you it's "bad"?

...There's nothing bad about it -> ...There's nothing "bad" about it.

I wonder if that's also bad... -> I wonder if that's also "bad"...

It's might look a bit awkward, but it also might be a worthwhile tradeoff to help convey the theme of the chapter.

>> No.23927  

Cool, thanks for the feedback. I changed some stuff. Are the changes better or worse? Not sure.

This is bad!! -> Not good!!

I've been getting bad feelings about a lot of things -> There are a lot of things I've been feeling not good about.

The fact that -> Although
Despite worrying about these things -> They weigh on me,

The days continue to pass by before I know it is also bad. -> Each day passes by before I realize it, which is also not good.
(I think this is better, but let me know if it could still use some work.)

Pretty bad, right? -> Not good, right?

Who's told you it's bad? -> Who's told you it's "not good"?

...There's nothing bad about it. -> ...There's nothing "not good" about it.

Isn't this excitement pretty bad? -> Isn't my heart beating pretty bad?

It's bad, right? -> Not good, right?

N-- -> No!

No, you're wrong! -> You're wrong!

Behind my appearance, I'm nothing but bad. -> Behind my appearance, I'm just not good.

and "nothing but bad," -> and "not good,"

I wonder if that's also bad... -> I wonder if that's also "not good"...

It's not bad at all... -> There's nothing "not good" about it...

>> No.23929  


Honestly, I'm not sure if these changes are an improvement. It certainly stands out more, but it feels a bit awkward sometimes ("There are a lot of things I've been feeling not good about" It just feels like pretty much anyone would say "bad" instead of "not good" here.).

There are also two line that I think need a bad -> not good change if we are going with this.

If she find out how bad my apartment is...

I want to know more about you, including the bad things.

The latter one is especially important in my mind, as this is the line that lets Satomi know, "hey, it's okay if things are bad sometimes."

I guess personally I think just using "bad" is preferable to "not good", mainly because I think the idea of someone being overly fixated / worried about anything "bad" in their life is more realistic than and relatable than someone fixated on anything "not good." That said, you of course have the final say here, so whatever you prefer, we can go with.


on p141, I think

"Isn't my heart beating pretty bad?" -> "Isn't my heart beating this fast pretty bad?"

Alternatively, "this fast" -> "like this" "so fast" "so quickly"


on p136, I think this is better, but the first part feels a bit short, as if it's a line meant for one box being split into two boxes.

"Although / they weigh on me," -> "Although these things / are weighing on me," or "Although these things / continue to weigh on me,"

>> No.23931  

Honestly, I think it came out alright. If you feel strongly about it, I don't think it's a big deal to go back to "bad," but I prefer this version. To me, it doesn't sound very awkward, and sounding a little awkward makes it stand out better. Anyway, the way "not good" is used as interjection, such as, "Oh crap, I overslept. Not good!" is what I'd like to convey. It works for me, but if it comes off as too tepid then that's an issue, and it can be changed.

Other alternatives include using "a mess" or just going with whatever works best in context without worrying about repeating the same expression.

Although -> Even though
How's that?

"Pretty bad" is being used as an adverb here. "Yabai" can mean stuff like crazy, scary, extreme, or even its original meaning, dangerous. "Isn't it crazy my heart is beating like this? It's crazy, right?" is probably closer to what she means, but then it'd miss the connection with what they were talking about earlier.

It's inconsistent, but I think "bad" works better here.

I'm just no good at stuff like cleaning. -> I'm useless at stuff like cleaning.

She actually says "dame" here.

>> No.23933  

Updated! Let's go with this. I think it works about as well as we can get it to.

I'll start on ch 9 and the afterword tonight!

>> No.23934  

Here's chapter 9!

This was a fun little chapter. A bit silly, but in a good way. On one hand, I might think that Narumi-san is way too nonchalant about getting into a relationship, but on the other hand, she does seem like a generally nonchalant kind of girl, so maybe all will work out.

These HQ raws are much appreciated, by the way! Sorry I didn't say so sooner. They are much easier to work with, and obviously make for a much better reading experience. Thanks!

>> No.23935  

Went ahead and added the afterword and the remaining pages to the same link.

Just out of curiosity, is 00166.jpeg saying anything worth translating? Or is it fine to just leave it as is?

>> No.23936  

Good call. I'd probably waffle on how to translate this forever otherwise. I do appreciate the feedback and feel a little bad for dragging you into it.

Missing the "Pop" for her button.

Definitely a goofy chapter. It's hard to say if Narumi was after Kashiwagi all along or if she's just that much of a dope.

Mainly just says thanks to the people she worked with, but I guess there's no reason not to translate it.

To Galette's sponsors, the staff at Galette, the designers, everyone who has assisted me, Uri-chan (my rabbit), and everyone who's read this manga,

Thank you very much. I'd be happy to hear your impressions.


And that's pretty much it. Happy new year/new year's eve! Hectopascal was playing at the turn of the new year on Mogra, so hopefully that means we'll be blessed with lots more yuri in 2020. Kotoshi mo yoroshiku onegaishimasu.

>> No.23938  

Updated! With this, I think the rest of volume is ready for release.

And no worries! Happy to be of help however I can. It's all part of the process.

If you come across something you're interested in working on and are in need of an editor, feel free to message me on discord at Martin#4987. Of course, I'll still be here too.

>> No.23946  

Released ch06-ch09.

>> No.23952  

Where'd you get your raws?

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