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File: Kuchu_Sampo.png -(4245714 B, 2220x3106) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
4245714 No.24452  

A blast from the past!
One-shot, 18p.
RAW: http://www.mediafire.com/file/77b1re42wqtp2ty

>> No.24512  

If there's TL, I will also edit this. It's short and easy to clean (only one redraw needed).

>> No.24517  
File: 秋山はる「空中散歩」.txt -(2920 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

This is my first time translating something so I'm not too sure but...

>> No.24518  

>>24517
Thanks. But you forgot to translate the last two pages. I will also wait for TLC of your translation.

>> No.24521  
File: 秋山はる「空中散歩」v2.txt -(3080 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

the most important scene...

>> No.24522  

>>24521
7
wan't
want

8
a dream of
a dream about

Petting what I thought to be the cat was the pillow-
Petting what I thought to be the cat, it was my pillow.

9
It was a dream, you know.
I've dreamed of this!

10
Common sensei.
Come on, senpai.

I've been interested in having barley beer!
Barley beer is your favorite, right?

put a seperate
put in a separate

11
To me too, getting mad at me like it's normal.
And scolding me, too.

Hey
No,

That was not the reason
I wasn't scolding you...

numberical
numerical

Having a dream?
Had a dream?

12
[missing bubble]
えっ
Huh!?

15
As I thought, let's order the shrimp too.
Let's order the shrimp too.

Is flounder okay?
And how about some flounder?

16
That's what it looks like you know.
That's just what it looks like.

The reality is more like facing emptiness...
In reality, I'm just running around doing nothing.

18
some times?
sometimes?

19
...I always forgot
I had forgotten.

20
[page missing]

And then maybe I'll come to the beach again.
...Alone?

It's dark already.

Was Yoshino-san always this cute?

Senpai?
Oh! Sorry.
I wasn't listeni-

21
hand
Hold...

>> No.24523  
File: Kuchu Sampo TL check.txt -(4952 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>24521

Here are some suggestions. I made a lot of changes, mostly just trying to make it sound more natural. I think you made some small errors. 空回り is an idiom, it doesn't mean "facing emptiness". Same thing with 糸が切れた. But most of these changes come down to personal taste, so take them or leave them. Also, you left out page 20, so I added my own translation for that.

One thing that I'd recommend is using pronouns instead of names. In Japanese, someone could say 先輩こそ大丈夫ですか? Using おまえこそ or きみこそ there could be rude or overly familiar. But in English, we use "you" for that. Replacing things like that is part of translating. When offering John a cup of coffee, no one would ever say "Would John like a cup of coffee?" He'd think you were making fun of him.

Anyways, good work. I think the best way to get better at translating is to practice. The more you do it, the easier it gets. I'd suggest reading your script out loud after you're done to check if it sounds right. In my opinion, the goal should be to create something that will give English readers the same impression that the original gave Japanese readers, so it's important to try to make the dialogue feel natural (unless of course the original dialogue is awkward, but that's usually not the case).

>> No.24526  

Okay, it's ready for QC.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/w9175z3tb70dwqv

>> No.24527  

Sexy Akiba Detectives just put out their translation for this oneshot.

https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/wandering_in_the_sky

>> No.24531  

>>24526

Some corrections.

Page 3

>Shibata-sensei?

should be "-sempai"

Page 11

>Do you like flo-under?

"flounder" is a one syllable word, I don't think you can hyphenate it like that.

Page 13

>It as a crazy real dream.

change "as" to "was"

>>24527

It's basically done, so might as well release it anyways.

>> No.24532  

>>24531
Updated.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/pvfr6ib1jqz052f

>> No.24538  

Don't forget to resize the pages to 2000px height.

>> No.24540  

>>24538
What for? 4K is a standard now.

>> No.24546  

>>24540
That's too bad. If this is true the Guidelines on the wiki need to be changed.

>> No.24550  

Released.



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