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File: 01cover_.jpeg -(1069389 B, 1446x2083) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1069389 No.25426  

4-Koma manga. Two chapters, 47 pages total.


>> No.25448  

working on a TL for this one

>> No.25471  

Here's book 1: https://pastebin.com/BbYV4VXs
Book 2 is pretty much done as well so I'll post it in a few days. Just gotta finish my second pass on it. But I'd like them released on their own. You know, maximize engagement and all that...

>> No.25473  

And here's the 2nd book: https://pastebin.com/c0te9fvq
Pages 7 and 8 are flipped in the zip file. There's no numbering on the images themselves, but that must be what it is. It's carefully noted in the TL anyway.
This is some really good stuff, both chapters. I'm glad I got to do them.

>> No.25496  

I extensively revised the scripts, so they are labelled v2 now.

>> No.25499  

I would like to edit this. Is it fine if I just do it?

>> No.25500  

Yes, feel free.

>> No.25611  

The majority of the pages I did some minor adjustments to either script or clean that isn't 1:1. If any of them went too far, let me know and I'll revert/fix them.
I also typeset at late nights against all better judgement, so I likely made a couple of irregular decisions regarding that.

>> No.25612  
File: qc1.txt -(5665 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

It's awesome to see this getting worked on! Here's what I saw when looking through it.

>> No.25613  

Version 2

>> No.25614  

Heya! I think it looks good, just a few more adjustments I can see.

Maybe make the white stroke on "Stare" 1px larger? Feels just a bit hard to see.

"They're all straight couples..." move down slightly

panel 4, bubble 1 - "motherand" -> "mother and"

bubble 2 - Maybe line it as "An over- / protective / father...?" and move it up a bit?

panel 4 - "Sa-" hyphen to em dash

"Did you fix it?" move down slightly

panel 2 - Vertical ellipsis above Yurika's head

"And now..." "Our seats are right next to each other now!" The double "now" feels redundant, maybe drop the second one or rephrase the first bubble? Not sure what's best.

panel 4 - "She fell in love" move down slightly


With these, I think I'm satisfied with it unless ralnicc or anyone else has anything to add.

>> No.25615  

Version 3

>> No.25623  
File: myqc.txt -(3474 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Hi, I went through it and came up with some script fixes. Phrasing, grammar, etc. I really tried not to bloat it too much with wording changes.
Thanks for all the good work you and Martin have done.

>> No.25624  
File: myheart13.JPG -(29049 B, 378x269) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

As for why the artist's font choices and typesetting seem so inconsistent and stuff. I think that at least back then, they did not spend too much time studying that stuff, or it's really not their strong suit. Even messes like this show up in their other doujin stuff.
I think it's probably not necessary sticking with their stylistic choices 100% when they just seem puzzling.

>> No.25628  
File: 26alt.png -(311754 B, 1290x1821) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

I did a further adjustment to your suggestion for page 8. I did not change the bubble for page 9 (I think the "where" is answered by her stating her hair, so IMO "what" makes more sense).
For the vertical aaah on page 26 I changed the font to something that looks slightly better? I'm not a huge fan of super angled horizontal in either direction since it's so steep, but I've attached a sample of it in case you think it does look better.

Version 4

>> No.25630  

Ah, the explanation regarding "Yurika... / -san." makes sense, my mistake! I missed the joke at the time.

I'm happy with how this turned out! No more corrections from me. Just one thing, though - I previously suggested changing "Sa-" to "Sa—" on page 20 panel 4, but I would say it's probably best to revert that since we're not making the distinction in the rest of the dialogue.

>> No.25631  

Thanks. I think the way that it's in the zip is good.

Just a couple more things from me then that's it.
page 7
-panel 4, bubble 2: I think this comma before "too" changes its definition from the intended "like me" to "also I wanted to make this point."

page 8
-panel 3: This is just arguing semantics, but I see 'go out somewhere fun' as emphasizing the event itself of a date regardless of where they go, while removing the 'out' makes it more general, like gives more emphasis to where they might want to go or to do what, which isn't important here.

page 28
-panel 4: That birthday bubble looked much neater before. Please change back.

And there's still a missing space in the credits page.

>> No.25632  

Version 5 - Release candidate 2
All changes incorporated, thanks!

>> No.25633  

I just realized on page 19 I translated the page title in a void and I shoulda made it fit the context better. So how about a simple change to "A little jealous." Sounds like Yuuki, right?
Otherwise, I'm all good.

>> No.25635  

Release candidate 3

>> No.25637  

Renamed the archive and the files inside according to the wiki guidelines sorta.

>> No.25640  

Good work everyone.


Thanks Tentacles, but you don't need to worry about that. Those parts of the guidelines are just for the updating the webpage, which for now is just my responsibility. I'm already re-uploading the files anyways, so you don't need to bother with changing the file names.

>> No.25704  

Same deal as before (not as much though) with minor changes and adaptations here and there. probably more aesthetic critique to be had here due to cramped messages or weird layouts and the like.

>> No.25705  
File: Sayurika 2 qc.txt -(3017 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

I don't have much for aesthetic critique, but sorry about the wordiness for some of these script alterations.

>> No.25706  
File: Yurika and Sayuri 2, QC 1.txt -(4720 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's some editing focused suggestions!

>> No.25707  

Accepted all changes.

>> No.25709  

Looks good to me

>> No.25710  
File: Yurika and Sayuri 2, QC 2.txt -(1446 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

A few more adjustments, then we should be good to go.

>> No.25711  


>> No.25712  

I think it's ready to go! Good work.

>> No.25719  


Good work everyone, released.

>> No.25720  

Glad to have come out of retired for just a bit.

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