p02 panel 1-3 These are flashback panels using a different font from the narrative font. Up to you if you want to mirror that effect. panel 1 "Playing / the prin- / cess?" -> "Playing / the / princess?" I think it's preferable to avoid hyphenation here. panel 3 "You are the most..." -> "you" (remove capital Y) panel 4 "She is my precious childhood friend." a bit small compared to the original. "...Yeah" -> "...Yeah." (add punctuation) p03 panel 1 "Yui is like a doll." center text with whited out portion. panel 2 "whhhosshhhhhh" this is just way too much. It's a very small and subtle sfx. No need to overdo it. panel 3 "No..." Original is white text with black outline. "whooooaashh" Same deal, it should be more subtle. "whoosh" "wshh" etc. "I'm not cute. Not me." The way this line is placed in the original feels very intentional. It comes down between them like a dividing line. I think it'd be nice if we tried to replicate that, maybe by putting each word on its own line, or like "I'm not / cute. / [space] / Not / me." Not sure what's best, just fiddle with it and see what feels right to you. p04 panel 2 "Oh, / sure is!" -> "Oh, / sure / is!" panel 6 "Well... / it's shame / to cut it, / right?" -> "well... / it's a / shame to / cut it, / right?" reline, add missing "a" p06 panel 8 "Wouldn't look good on me, though." make slightly larger p09 panel 2 "Yu..." (floating text) I could be wrong, but I think this looks more like わ. "Yu..." -> "Yu—" p10 panel 2 "It'd be no[...]" -> "it'd be no[...]" (remove capital I) page 11-12 I'm not sure I fully understand how Megumi's narration on p11 connects to the "It's not like I hate Yui." line on p12. I'm not sure if this is a translation issue, or just a lack of clarity in the raws. p13 panel 4 "Yu...!?" -> "Yu—!?" My thinking here is that she's just cutting herself off before saying "Yui" rather than calling her "Yu", so it'd be nice to clarify that for readers. p14 panel 1 "Is that[...]" -> "is that[...]" (remove capital I) "is that because of m...?" ->" "is that because of me...?" I guess she's supposed to be trailing off here, but it reads like "because of M". panel 2 "You bet / it is!" -> "You / bet it / is!" p15 panel 5 "...Huh?" a bit small. p16 panel 1 This panel is hard to read, partially because of the way the text is placed, and also because it doesn't flow together well as a whole sentence. I think it would help to reline the text blurbs. E.g. "Why / is it" "even / though / she's / mad," "her face... / no, not / just that" "so / cute." That said, I think the bigger issue is the phrasing. I cannot for the life of me understand what she's saying here. Particularly, what does she mean by "her face, no, not just that / so cute."? I don't get that at all. panel 2 "Not the same cute as up until now..." This is similarly hard to decipher for me. panel 3 "It's this... but..." remove crossbar I