Most of these require a boke review. They're all suggestions, in the end. Hit me up on discord if you want to discuss any of them, or I can send over pics from the big book o' dialects I use for this sort of stuff. Crossbar I's, I said fuck it this time around. If you'd like, I can go through and hunt down where they all should be. 3f1 Change 'an to an' The apostrophe goes at the end since that is the letter that is removed 6f2 Change the comma after for instance to an ellipsis Change the ellipsis after "a new love" to a period Add a period to after "or something" 6f3 Add a comma after "…Oh" And I suggest changing the period after "talk stupid" to an ellipsis 13f1 Change the comma after "betcha" to a period 13f2 Add "the" before "hospital" 13f3 I suggest changing "Reason" to "Purpose" here since she is recalling the TV show. If it's intending to be different, then I suggest "A reason for" to make it distinct from the tv show Add a period after "cultural center" 15f2 Change Osaka to Osakan I know it was a dialect choice, but these are a lot of nouns acting as adjectives all at once 16f2 Remove the comma after "pain" 19f3 Lowercase the S in "Shouldn't" 20f4 Change the comma after "at all" to an ellipsis 21f3 Add "And with" to before "A light application" Add a comma after "application" Remove "and" after "application" To finish out the list in a way that the dialogue still flows well 22f3 This one needs some consistency fixes for the numbers. I suggest changing eighty to 80 so it matches the rest or, because they are all round numbers, spelling out all four numbers. Which will be harder to typeset 22f4 Change the period after "now" to a comma For flow reasons 23f1 Remove the comma after "But" or change the word to "However" Both are good, depending on what you're going for. But can't have a comma after it, but however can and might keep the original intent you were going for Add a hyphen to "foil" to make it "foil-stamped" Make "paper back" one word 23f4 "If so" and "If not" don't really fit here because she already answered the question I suggest changing "If so, then" to "In that case," 23f5 Remove the hyphen from "sweet pea" Not how the flower is spelled 24f2 Add "a" after "a bit of" Add a comma and "too" to after "up" To offset the repetition/make it look intentional Remove "really" Add a comma after "your skin tone" 25f2 Remove the colon and change it into a comma Remove the ellipsis after "act your age!"" Since there is already ending punctuation 26f3 Add a period after "Ah" 26f4 Add a comma to after "talking" 27f1 Add a comma after "lay that color on me" The flow is a bit stilted in these two bubbles. Removing "So," might help, but not entirely. The "so" implies a stop that isn't there because the two bubbles are connected 28f1 Remove the apostrophe in 40's 28f2 Remove the apostrophe in 40's here too 29f2 Remove the hyphen in sweet-pea 29f3 Change the period after "wonderful" to a comma For flow 30f1 This needs something to connect it to the previous line. Opening with "Yes, thanks to you" might do it In that case, change the comma after "to you" to an ellipsis 32f4 Change "collection of short stories" to "short story collection" Remove the hyphen in Sweet-pea and capitalize so it is Sweet Pea Add a comma after "Somehow" This last bubble is a bit stilted and could flow better with a rewrite. I'd suggest something more direct, but I'm not sure what might work to flow but still be coy. That's just how English be. 33f1 Remove the comma after "of me" and "but" Add a comma after "it's not new" Add an ellipsis to after "but" instead of the comma Lowercase the "I" in "If" Just comma usage rules for these 33f2 Change the comma after "because" to an ellipsis 33f3 Remove the period after "puffs" 34f1 Remove the comma after "tomorrow" Add a hyphen to "Life" I suggest ellipses after "Life-meaning" and "Hobbies" too 35f2 Change to "Ah well, it's a business after all" (remove commas after ah and business) Dialect Suggestions These ones are for boke on a take 'em or leave 'em basis. None of them are necessary, per se, but I think they'd be helpful to hone that rural dialect angle. I'm basing these suggestions on a few entries in Studs Terkel's Working (Farm woman, Deep Miner and His Wife, Gravedigger, Interstate Trucker, specifically). Generally, I suggest not omitting verbs (Who ya vs Who are/is ya) as omitting verbs is more a casual speech thing rather than a dialect thing. How and what is said is more important than how it is notated/punctuated If you're not careful, it will end up like the early chapters of 2DK, which were very painful to read. If you prefer not to enact these changes, the chapter will need to be reviewed again because the characters use "I, my, you, to" as normal in a number of panels 6f1 The sentence is kind of clunky, would "What's brining this up, Riko-chan?" work? It keeps a dialect, using "what is" and "-ing" rather than the standard "What brings" 6f4 It's generally not common practice to change I, you, my, or to when transcribing a dialect because they're super common and will be distracting for the reader. It also makes it harder to tell if she is supposed to sound rural with less education or like Ghostface Killah, and it's harder to keep consistent. Your phrasing already does most of the work here for you As such, I suggest changing the two Ahs here to I 7f3 I suggest changing this to 'S that true, Gran? It kind of seems more slang-y here as it is 11f4 This one might work as Who's you gettin' However, as it is I think Who you gettin' works well too 12f2 I suggest to change ta -> to and yah -> you I think the "you" will flow into the next panel better as well with the image of the guy. Fits the gravity and still retains the dialect feeling 13f1 I suggest changing both Ah -> I 13f2 Ah -> I To offset the changes, I suggest shortening more -ing words, so for here changing thinking to thinkin' 13f3 Ah'll -> I'll 13f4 Maybe buying -> buyin' 15f2 Maybe to What am I even sayin'? 15f4 Ah -> I Looking -> lookin' 16f1 Ah-> I x2 16f2 Ah-> I yah -> you Mah -> my The "my" part in particular because this style isn't used on any other pages 18f1 I suggest changing "no pressure" to something else since it's a relatively new phrase and not something an older character would be likely to say It's a good spot to fit some kind of old phrase, without it being a forced idiom, but I'm having trouble finding something good 19f2 I suggest changing "Naw" to "Well" Naw itself kind of sounds weird, but well keeps the hesitance 19f3 Ah -> I 20f2 t -> at Remove the apostrophe (otherwise it must be moved to the other side of the t) This is because the apostrophe would go where the letter is removed and "no trouble 't all" doesn't quite look/sound right 22f3 yah -> you In particular because this woman already says "you" a lot 22f4 Ah'm -> I'm x2 23f1 I suggest changing "extravagant" to "lavish" Totally just a character voice suggestion, extravagant seems off for her to use. But maybe not? 23f5 Ah -> I 24f2 Ah -> I 26f4 I suggest changing "nah" to "No no," 26f5 Ah've -> I've 27f1 Lay that color on me is super casual/modern, which is maybe what you're going for here. It's got some cringe to it, which might be the original intent. If not, I'd suggest finding a different idiom. 33f1 Ah -> I 33f2 Ah -> I Maybe change treating to treatin' 33f3 Ah -> I 34f1 Ah'll -> I'll x2 Ah -> I 34f3 Ah -> I x2 I suggest removing "in the head" It seems a bit extra 35f1 Ah -> I 35f2 Ah'll -> I'll I suggest changing "I tweaked my back" to "A crick in my back" Tweaked is a very new word Could even work as just "My lumbago", both crick and lumbago are sufficiently old person 35f3 Ah -> I You and yer is inconsistent here, I suggest changing them all to You/your/you're 36f1 Ah -> I Ya -> You You and ya is inconsistent here too so I suggest going entirely with you 36f4 Ah -> I x2 Ah'm -> I'm Maybe offerings to offerin's