65f1 Change the comma to an ellipsis p66f1b1: change exclamation point to question mark Change "2-3" to "few" (should be written as "two to three" which is really unwieldy when spoken) Change period after "days" to a comma and move "but" to after it from the next bubble 66f2 Remove the comma after "but" p66f3b1: change period after "colors" to comma -I suggest an ellipsis instead because text elements shouldn't end in commas I suggest changing the period after "oh my" to a comma p66f4: change both periods to question marks p69f1b1: "without it." -> "without them." p69f3b1: "ok" -> "okay" 70f3 Change the comma after "to you" to an ellipsis and lowercase the "T" in "This" p71f2: change to "Feels like they're a bit alike..." Further than that, I also suggest splitting as "Feels like they're | a bit | alike. 73f2 Change I'm to "I was" and the exclamation point after "Sorry" to a comma p73f3b2: "get that." -> "with that." p73f4/5b1: "ok" -> "okay" p73f6b3: change to "It's so nice to see you back here." p74b1f1/2: change to: "Perhaps the makeover I gave you // caused problems with your husband?" p74f2v1: "My husband's" -> "He's" Change the period after "fine" to a comma p74f4: swap the bubbles missing sfx is "jolt" p75f2b1: "After you made me up that time," -> "After the makeover you gave me," Remove the space after the ellipsis but before the question mark p75f3b1: "just what was I worried about" -> "just what have I been worrying about" Change the "It made me think" in the last bubble in frame three to "That maybe" (to avoid repetition) p75f4b1: "Ah, think that's" -> "I think that's" 76f4 Change "clothing" to "fashion" Fashion design (or just fashion) is technically the field of study 77f4 I suggest reducing the space between the two words here just a bit p78f1b1: I'd really prefer "I'm tickled pink!" p79f1b1: "Gran is" -> "I'm" p79f1b2: "Gran's" -> "I'm" p79f2b2: second sentence to "She's really got a good head on her shoulders." (remove "Indeed")? p79f3b3: change to "You're always welcome here." p79f4b1/2: change to "I have other regulars who drop in, too. It’s one the benefits of having a small shop." p79f4 out of bubble text: "If were" -> "If it were" // "I'd get my" -> "I might get my" p80f1b1: "means" -> "mean" p80f2b2: "anything particular" -> "anything in particular" p80f3b1: "Ah, something" -> "Ah, there's something" 80f5, I suggest changing the period after "my" into a comma Just the usual way of notating it, even if it looks a bit odd p82f4: b1 and b2 are identical, what's up with that? p82f4b3: change to "Hm? How long has she been coming here? Where abouts does she live?" p82f5b1: "Where did" -> "Where'd" 83f2 change to "I'm just stopping in quickly, I have to go to practice next." 83f4 - change the period after "coming up" to a comma Make up -> makeup p83f6b1: "get's" -> "gets" I suggest "trying" to tryin' p84f1b1: I suggest removing the comma 84f3 - change the question mark after "Thank you" to a comma Style the amount as "Y8810, please." (with a yen sign) 84f5 - I suggest changing the period after "Sure is" to a comma p85f1b1: "you are" -> "you're" 85f4 - change the period after "shop" to a comma p86f5b2: "a light lunch or dinner" -> "lunch or a light dinner" p87f1b2: "Would" -> "would 87f3 - move the ellipsis after "you gave me" to the front of the bubble and end the bubble with a period instead. p87f4b2: "it met with your approval" -> "you liked it" 87f5 - add a comma after "goodness" 88f1 - I'm not sure about this, but… -> I'm not sure about this… Change comma after "but" to ellipsis This change is to avoid repetition of the buts p88f1b2: "and may" -> "and I may" 88f2 Change the comma after "give up on" to an ellipsis 88f4 - So then -> well, To avoid then repetition 91f1 Change the period after "pulls me in" to a comma and lowercase the Y in Yep In a lot of these cases, it's just that the full stop causes the sentences to become jumpy. It's kind of about matching the text to the bubble, like in the next frame (one idea/sentence per bubble) 91f2 Change the comma after "listen" to a period Change the period after "poetic like that" to a comma and lowercase the following N Remove "as" before "dramatic" (alternatively, could change "dramatic like" to "dramatic as", but that would ruin the repetition) 91f3 - Asako-san -> Ayako-san P92 I know I have a vendetta against inline notes, but we might want to add two notes to the end of the chapter for what the significance of chanchanko is and an omiai p92f4b1: "ok" -> "okay" // add comma after Omiai 93f4 - if could we -> if we could