General I'm slightly partial to lowering the leading a bit, usually to about 110% of the font size. That said, I think this entirely just preference, so just go what with you think looks best. I think you may have already done this, but the high impact font in particular feels a bit off. Regarding the recurring "Ka-clack" and the one "Ka-boom" SFX in the first leg of the story, I'm inclined to say we can drop the hyphens. I don't think they're particularly necessary or beneficial when it comes to SFX, but they don't look bad either, so if you'd like to keep them, that's totally fine. p1 "Prolog" -> "Prologue" p2 "Owwww... Jeez! Kuwabara!" move up, maybe left slightly. p3 panel 2 "Yeah, a gorilla who just whooped your ass!" move up slightly p4 panel 1-3 Both sets of narrative text feel like they can be 1-2px larger. p5 I think the 3 narrative boxes can be made 1-2px larger. If the first box feels too cramped, maybe line it as "That night, / Kei-chan / was pissed." panel 1 "That stupid Nakayama.[...]" move up 1-2px "Ka-boom" I think the white stroke can be 1px larger maybe? It feels thinner than the ones further down panel 2 "For me, it felt like[...]" move up slightly panel 4 "It was / only the / fractured / rhythm of / the fireworks. / And the sound / of the frogs in / the rice fields," This feels a bit too bottom heavy. Here are two options I see if we'd like to reline it: "It was only the / fractured rhythm / of the fireworks, / and the sound of / the frogs in the / rice fields." or "It was only / the fractured / rhythm of the / fireworks, and / the sound of / the frogs in / the rice fields." p8 panel 2 (?) "Letter of Acceptance" Another really small thing, but it would be cool to recreate the original look where this bit is written in an especially scribbled, doubled look. The easiest way I see to do it is to use the text we have now as a guide, and write over it twice by hand. Up to you if you'd like to do this - I don't think most people will notice the difference. "From the beginning." Maybe have a comma here instead of a full stop, since it connects to "till the end." on the next page. p10 panel 5 "Or so I thought." Maybe make 1-2px larger to match the original p11 Untranslated text on the signage. Optional if we want to translate it, it'd be a lot of work to letter it, and it risks distracting the reader away from the impact of the scene. p13 panel 2 "I'm begging you..." move up and left slightly p18 panel 2 Untranslated text on the booklet she's holding. Optional if we want to translate and typeset it. panel 4 "Huh? Why the hell would[...] Maybe like 1px larger? Also, the sweat droplet is missing from the bubble. "Alright," This feels like it should be in the bubble below, but go with your gut. "Shiritori!" Maybe make the "ri" portion slightly larger, like you did with the subsequent words? Below that bubble is probably the best place to place the explanation for the game, but maybe we don't need the explanation? I'm hoping people will catch on based on the way we're emphasizing the starting and ending syllables. p19 panel 1 Regarding translating the words they're using, this is pretty hard. All of our options have notable drawbacks. I see a few different possibilities: One, we leave it as is. This is the easiest way, but it makes the follow up lines like "Don't hit me with chem terms" and "You're gonna make me want some" impossible to follow. Two, we translate in bubble, e.g. "Ri... Ritomasu Shikenshi! (Litmus paper)" the whole way down. This is okay, possibly the best way to do it, but it may take away from the tension of the scene, particularly when we have to write "Su..." "...Ki. (I love you)" and "Ki...Su (Kiss)". One option I see here is to change the last bubble from "..Su"" to just "...Kiss." It's a departure from what we've done up until this point, but it allows the climax of the scene to stand on its own, without relying on the crutches of Translation notes. However, this creats a new problem when we have to follow up Kiss/Kisu with "Sukebe" on the next page. Three, we translate it outside the bubble, e.g. putting "Litmus paper" below the bubble, "Boiled whitefish" to the left of Shirasu, etc.. This will remove any potential confusion people have about whether the English translations are actually being verbalized, but it will completely kill the reading flow by dragging the readers' eyes all over the page, and it still has the same problems we face with #2. Four, we completely localize it, but just the thought of this sounds dreadful to try and pull off. panel 3 Missing translation for the box/book/ whatever she has on her lap. Optional if we want to translate and typeset it. p20 panel 2 "You’re using that word after doing that to me?" This sounds a bit awkward to me, but maybe I'm off base. I'm thinking it may be better to drop one of the that's. E.g. "You're saying pervert after doing that to me?" or "You chose that word after kissing me?" panel 3 "Oh, the local train's here." I think we can drop "local" from this sentence - this is the kind of thing that would be omitted in casual speech since they presumably both know which train they're waiting for. p24 panel 1 "Kei-chaaan!" Maybe make this bigger? The original cuts off the final ん, so maybe we could replicate that by having the top half of the ! cut off on the right side of the screen. If it looks off, we can skip that part, but I do think it can stand to be a little bit bigger anyway. "I didn't say tha—" maybe 1-2 px larger "You did say that!" a bit larger, maybe reline it as "You / did say / that!" panel 2 "wah" this one is touching the bubble in the original - up to you if you'd like to replicate that effect. "Oh, / shut up!" -> "Oh, / shut / up!" and make a lot bigger. It's by far the largest bit of text on the page aside from the final sfx, so it'd be nice to carry that over. "ちゅううう" SFX missing. Kissing sound, go with whatever seems best.