2f4 add a comma after "making me look" and I suggest adding "just" after "it's" for pacing the comma is needed because "it is" makes the second clause independent 2f6 add an apostrophe to the end of "goin" 2f7 Remove the comma after "it took like" I also suggest adding a period after "that happened" because it is dialogue rather than sfx 3f3 Add an apostrophe to the stary of "kay" Add a period to after "Thanks for having me" 3f4 I suggest italics for "sigh" and maybe even removing the comma (or at least changing it to a period or ellipsis) like the sighs on page 7 because it's a sound effect that appears within a bubble 4f1 Missing sound effect 4f2 Remove the "I" before "but" in the first bubble and crossbar the I after "but" Change the "But" that starts the second bubble to "And" and remove the comma after "different girls" for that last comma it's because there is no subject in that clause so it is dependent 4f5 I suggest changing "happened" to "happening" and "tell" to "told" The tenses sound a bit off as they are now. It could be changed to work by adding emphasis to show the word choice is intentional (for instance I always tell and the "that" after remember") but I think this change is easier 5f2 I suggest changing "wha" to either "what" or "huh" 5f3 I suggest changing "I..." to "If..." and removing the crossbar As it is, it is unclear that the I is only part of If. Alternatively, the ellipsis could be switched with a dash, but that doesn't seem to fit the tone 6f1 add an em dash to after the first G here (the ellipsis can be kept or removed. If kept, probably best to put it on its own line) Similarly here, an ellipsis denotes a pause rather than a word being cut off. I suggest changing the comma after "Yeah" to a period Easy spot to keep end punctuation for that text element 6f4 I suggest changing "We can just go out the three of us, right?" to "Can't the three of us just go out?" I think that still retains the voice. For that bubble to work and still feel slang-y, it would need a question mark after "out" which kills the flow a bit. It would still work though 6f7 Remove the comma after "you come all" the comma breaks up the meaning of the phrase by having a parenthetical phrase in the middle of the sentence rather than two clauses emphasizing each other 6 bottom gutter I highly suggest moving the TL note to it's own page at the end or on one of the end pages. Notes kill reading flow dead and the hyperlink is not clickable. It doesn't have to be a knight heron style infographic, but it will still be available there. In general, notes in works of fiction that interrupt the reading process should only be present if they are critical to reader comprehension or are intentionally placed by the author. 7f1 I suggest changing "Wha" to either "Wha--?" or "Excuse me?" This is a similar suggestion since "wha" isn't a word on it's own but a cut off word (also to avoid repetition with Huh) 7f3 I think that's japanese text next to her head? Really hard to tell what that scribble is There are some leftover specs around the "SO" in "not so loud" 7f9 Should this be "Miko-senpai"? 8f7 Change "it's the first" to "this's the first" because she isn't removed, it's happening right now to avoid repetition, I suggest changing "This character's my favorite" to "She's my favorite character" 8f8 Lower case the "M" in "Me" to be consistent with previous stutters being lowercase when they are repeated 8f9 Change "favourite" to "favorite" The manga has been in US english so far, so for consistency I suggest changing to "She's my favorite" here as well 10f4 Add a comma to after "You looked bored" I suggest changing the ellipsis after the M into an em dash 10f5 Is she exhaling or stuttering on "Funny"? I think an exhale is better, but it is hard to tell which it could be. For clarity, I suggest changing the ellipsis to an em dash remove the "here" after "run into you" to avoid repetition It also might sound better as "Funny running into you" 10f7 Change "make up" to "makeup" change "wha" to "what" 11f3 I suggest changing "Wha?" to "Hey!" 11f4 Add a comma to after "use them" to avoid repetition, I suggest changing the first bubble to "I'm sorry, I feel like I might die, and..." 11f8 That dash might be an em dash rather than a hyphen. wanted to point it out, could be the font instead, just looked big 13f2 Change "pick up on me" to "pick me up" 13f4 remove the apostophe in "gets" 14f2 Change to "Let's all go out together next time, okay?" Otherwise it will need an extra comma and won't flow well 14f4 lowercase the "B" in "Between" and add an ellipsis to after "selfies" because they're all part of the same sentence however, capitalize the "a" in "and a ton" becuase it's a new sentence 15f1 I suggest changing the colon to an em dash Basically, colons are not used in manga or comics I suggest changing "do anything once" to "do any one thing" 15f2 Sfx/text missing next to the face in the bottom left I also suggest changing "wha" to "what" 15f3 I suggest adding italics to the sigh 16f1 I suggest changing the comma after sky to a period, capitalizing the u in unlike, and adding "it's" to before cloudy instead of is 17f4 I suggest "Huh?" instead of "what" here to break up repetition 17f7 I suggest changing the comma after "it feels like" to an ellipsis 18f1 I suggest changing the first sentence around a bit. It jumps between poetic and casual, so I suggest it being I always wondered why they cheat so soon when we're going out. This prevents all the commas and slowdowns I suggest changing "an interchangeable placeholder" to either "a placeholder" or just "I'm just interchangeable" Otherwise it's kinda redundant 18f2 Remove the comma after "But" 19f1 Capitalize the s in "senpai" 19f6 I suggest changing the comma after well to an ellipsis 21f2 Change 'till to either 'til or till Bother of the latter are acceptable spellings Well, actually, the repetition is a bit awkward. It'd be better to change it to "Well, it's been nice." To avoid repetition from the previous and next panels Change "Kiko" to "Miko" 21f3 Change the comma after But to an ellipsis For end punctuation reasons 22f4 I suggest removing the ellipsis in this bubble The pause before the exclamation point flows a bit oddly 22f7 I suggest changing "wha" to "what" 23f6 I suggest changing the comma after But to an ellipsis 23f6/7 Similar reasoning, I highly recommend removing this TL Note because it detracts away from Yatosaki Haru's work 24f2 Hyphenate "boy chaser" 24f6 I suggest changing the comma after "don't" to an ellipsis or just removing it 25f4 I suggest changing the ellipsis to an em dash 25f6 I suggest changing the comma to an ellipsis or a period. If emphasis is being added, then I suggest using bolditalics rather than just italics for "Well…" (but it's kinda hard to tell if italics are intentional there or the font is just playing tricks on my eyes) 26f1 Change the ellipsis in "Y…" to an em dash 28f2 I suggest changing the commas after "But" and "daytime" into ellipses I suggest changing the middle box to "Even if you can't see them, there they are, always twinkling." 28f3 Capitalize the "s" in "senpai" 30f2 I suggest changing wha to what 30f3 "Anything" is a bit odd here. I see what it's going for but it doesn't quite work Possible options include periods are dashes after every letter so she is spelling it out, or adding spaces and emphasis. So… An. Y. Thing! With spaces after the periods and bolditalics on "THING!" I think that would work better than spelling it out 32f1 Remove the comma after "Hey" It can technically fit but isn't strictly necessary and slows down the sentence 32f3 Missing text in the bottom right corner I suggest adding a dash to "Whaa-?" or doing it as "Huuuh?" or even "Huh?!" 33f4 I'm not quite sure what "rough it in first" means. I think it might work better as either "being able to storyboard it first" or "being able to draft it first" I know this is in the raw too, but her email has an underscore between minority and 0219 rather than a period. Should we emphasize that, or leave it as is to not encourage randos to email her?