For this QC the first number refers to the page and then the second to the panel. The bubble text placement is generally solid, so I'll focus on word usage, comic styling, and such. The end punctuation throughout is suggested to match usual comic stylings 1f1 I suggest leaving it as "My key's missing" because there is only one key + keychain in the image and to match the singular in the next panels Add a period to after "missing" I'd also say to leave it as either "That means I can't go home…" or "I can't go home…" The suggestion here being to keep "go" as the main verb because "get" is a vague, less expressive verb 1f2 Add a period after "forever" Change "So you don't have to" to "So I don't have to" Because it appears to be Beni talking here Add periods to after "look" and "key" Remove "for" before "rent" The preposition is usually not used when discussing rent 1f3 Add in "I really don’t wanna have to walk." above the second bubble If possible I'd suggest cleaning and redrawing the "rummage" sound effects. If not, then I suggest adding "rummage" near them in a sfx type of way 2f2 Remove the hyphen in "make-up" This one is just how makeup is spelled Add "to" after "You don't have" and "off" after "it" to make it "You don't have to show it off like a makeup video!" I think this will generally work with the reference? Should make it seamless enough 2f3 I'm not sure where the "Love!" from the script was supposed to end up here 3f3 The ghost line here is kinda stilted either way, my own suggestion would be "I'm not pretending to be a ghost!" Mainly because I don't think kids play ghost (unless it's the band of course, but this would be a category of playing pretend), or do ghost poses so it ends up being odd. The tense change for the handwritten part seems fine 3f4 Add an apostrophe to "whats" Remove the comma after "but" In this case the first four words make the start of the sentence where the comma would go before "but" if this were a larger sentence "Paint me" vs "Do me" loses the entendre 4f1 I suggest putting quotes around "yuri-play" so it's "yuri-play"? I suggest removing the comma after "Ah" because it isn't strictly necessary and slows down the sentence a bit Remove the comma after "you say all that" Because the second clause is dependent 4f3 "Got everywhere" might even work best as just "Everywhere" in the end or even "Making a mess" so it flows well 4f4 I suggest changing "DUN" to "DOOM" In this case because dun is more of a random sound than an established comic sound effect 4f5 I suggest doing the last bubble as "Is that so…?" Or, for informal, 's that so…? The question mark because it's a question regardless, but the longer sentence is more of a how it sounds reading all the bubbles out loud 5 Change the first "you" into "do" so it's "What do you wanna eat today?" Add a period after "sushi" I suggest changing the period after "sounds good" into a comma Just to not have a full stop mid-bubble if it isn't necessary Beni Remove the comma after "the word yuri" Similar in that the ending isn't an independent clause "Beni loves her" seems odd here in that it would make more sense with the first part of the sentence for it to say "but loves Eiko" Maybe, "but Beni loves her anyway" if that's the more accurate version, as in it is saying that Beni loves her in spit of her yuri deficiency The daily life to has no life change is kinda big, thematically, so might need a review on that one. For the final version, I suggest adding a credits page too. Which you can style however you like or base it on existing ones. For this I think it would be Raws: Martin Translation: boke Editing: Yuuko QC: Altair