p29 Minor thing: Given that this seems to be a digital release, some of the detail is lost from the way the page is exported. (E.g. zoom in on Ayako's nose in both, and you'll see the gradients are turneed into solid colours that fizzle out. I don't think fixing this is especially important, but it should also be fairly easy to fix by increasing the number of colours when exporting.) Saori's line under "recent worries" should be up above, while her "recent worries" line is missing ("Ayano-san's home cooking is so good [...]") p30 "Welcome back!" move 1-2px right. "So, how was the meeting?" move text down and right "I see, that's good." move 2px right p31 "I think / I'm going / to take a / bath." -> "I think / I'm going / to take / a bath." (move "a" down a line) Narrative text: This font has pretty massive leading. I think the font size / leading can both be adjusted to 22pt, to better match the dialogue and thought text. "Ayako-san bought fruits and vegetables after work." Maybe "bought some fruits"? I think that might sound a bit more natural. "Ayako-san still had a bad day." Definitely make this line a bit bigger imo. The panel is pretty intense and meant to have some impact, so the text feels unfittingly small currently. p32 "I can't make you [...]" The first part of the bubble ends with "but...", while the next one also starts with "but". This feels redundant, so unless that's the intent I'd recommend dropping the second "but". "Watching when the vegetables get blended[...]" sounds a bit awkward to me. I think "when" should probably be dropped, so either "Watching the vegetables get blended" or "Watching the vegetables as they get blended" would be better. I also think simply saying "blend" would sound more natural than "get blended", but that probably doesn't set up the joke as well. "I've got to try [...]" move right a bit. p33 Bubbles 1, 2, and 4 are a separate font from the standard dialogue font, it'd be nice to match that up. "Does that mean what I think it means?!" This bubble has two separate fonts in it. Maybe split it like "Does / that mean / **what I / think it / means?!**" "sits up" seems like a weird choice since they were already sitting up. I think any one of "tackle" "grab" "fwip" or even something silly like "mount" might work better? p35 "...As good as this feels[...]" move down and right a bit. p37 "We let the / whole day / get away / from us and / we couldn't / get anything / done!" -> "We let / the whole / day get away / from us and / we couldn't / get anything / done!" "They couldn't / even go / shopping, so / they're eating / frozen udon." -> "They / couldn't even / go shopping, so / they're eating / frozen udon." p38 "I couldn't turn you down[...]" move left ~6px or so. "We have / to use / sunday / for / errands!" I think it'd be a bit better to put "for" on the same line as "sunday" to avoid orphaning it. "That's right!" "We'll do a PDCA cycle!" I think it'd be nice to make each of these 1-2px larger, and possibly drop the asterisk in favour of bolding the letters PDCA. People will immediately follow up bubble with the note regardless, so the asterisk does nothing but take us out of the experience a bit. p40 First two bubbles can both be moved down slightly. "I can't believe / I just lost / myself in / pleasure like / that. I'm / starting to / scare myself..." -> "I can't / believe I just / lost myself / in pleasure / like that. I'm / starting to / scare myself..." p42 "You and" "you." -> "You" "and you." To me I read the panel switch as like a slight pause, and I feel like "You... and you." is a more natural vocal pause than "You and... you." That said, I'm not entirely sure. "But I was so attentive!" Maybe make this a big larger and break it up like "But I was / so attentive!" to better match the original? "Would you like the full report[...]" move down and right a tiny bit maybe? p44 "aw man, I totally[...]" move down a little bit. "Even though Hana[...]" move down and right a little bit. "I guess if I really think about it, I could have made a wild guess..." Should this be "thought about it"? It feels like its switching tenses. "Ehehe, thank you" 'Ehehe' should be handwritten text. p46 "In regards to Fujimura-san" move down a bit. p47 "her face, for one!" 'For one' should be handwritten text.