0004.png I, I won't apologize!! -> I—I won't apologize!! (Isn't there a guideline somewhere that stuttering should be indicated with an emdash?) 0022.png Since you insist joining, Mary-san, I'll lend a hand. -> Since you insist on joining, Mary-san, I'll lend a hand. 0024.png Ikishima-san will wear bondage gear for a masochist. -> Ikishima-san will wear masochistic bondage gear. (Disambiguate between "wear bondage gear meant for a masochist" and "wear bondage gear for the sake of a masochist." Other possible disambiguations include "wear bondage gear fit for a masochist," "wear bondage gear meant for a masochist," and "wear bondage gear for masochists," if you like one of those better.) Yeah, I don't know about "play lesbian" as a translation of 百合営業. My biggest concern is that "play lesbian" implies that it's just an act to a higher degree than 百合営業 does. I think you're right in identifying as a commoditization of yuri—just doing it for the money—and so the implication is still there, but in this context, I feel like it's important to try to soft-pedal it and come up with a term that wouldn't close the door quite so hard on the idea that it not be only an act. After all, just because you're making money off it doesn't mean your heart's not in it. I would think that 百合営業アピール would be something like "working the Yuri market" or "working the lesbian angle." You might be able to use a translation like "be in the yuri business (yuri biz?)" or maybe even just "be lesbian," like on 0026, with the understood but not stated implication that the arrangement is meant to be temporary. 0035.png I suppose you're disappointed it's with me....? -> I suppose you're disappointed it's with me...? (three dots in ellipsis) 0037.png Someone you'd like to share breathes with, like we are right now. -> Someone you'd like to share breaths with, like we are right now. ("breathes" to "breaths") 0043.png Sayaka chan will think up a hairstyle for president tomorrow. -> Sayaka-chan will think up a hairstyle for the president tomorrow. (Add dash; also, adding "the" will give that orphan "for" some company.) 0050.png I didn't mean—... -> I didn't mean— (I think it's best to pick either an emdash or an ellipsis; both is redundant.)