//03 Not we, but "The Reason I Exercise". While it is both their stories about exercising, I think it connects to Ayako's reason for it due to how the final lines in the chapter go. //04 The chapter title is missing in the upper corner //09 /5 bubble 1: "You'll won't" -> you won't bubble 2: This is いちゃつく and his line is pretty vague to indicate he thinks this is their usual flirting. I just wanna make sure this wasn't mixed up with いちゃってる or something. //10 /1 "Ayako-san's" //11 /2 "Ayako-san" /3 Bubble 2: "My heart isn't into it" This sounds like the present tense right here and now, when it should fit with the previous clause, like 'Dieting may improve my body, but I can't see it ever improving my spirit' or something like that. //12 /1 Bubble 3: This should technically be in response to "excess weight" but I only really have a problem with the ガーン below it because that should be a shock/disappointment or even a gasp, because she then goes to seek comfort in Ayako's chest in the next panel. Responding to her statement as a whole with "I can't" works on its own but then it would break if "Stubborn" were to be changed. You could punch up Ayako's line to something like "If you want to get rid of that extra flab of yours etc." in order to shock Saori. //15 /3 "Ayako-san" //17 /1&2 This part is that Ayako does all that she does morning and night because of how Saori is like this for her, so I think this line is off track. She's capable of doing her high-effort routine because of Saori. I can't really come up with anything good, but something with the gist of 'I'm able to push myself morning and night like that because of your desire for me etc.' I think would be more on point. //20 /2 Bubble 1: Question mark doesn't work here. //21 /3 "Ayako-san" //22 Bubble 1: "Today's birthday" is kinda a funny statement, so maybe just 'This was the best/my favorite birthday ever!' or something Bubble 2: Missing word. "And since today is Saturday" or something Bubble 4: "Ayako-san" //24 /1 & 2 Maybe specify "first name" /3 "Ayako-san" And you can get rid of the "But" at the start of the second bubble. //26 /3 & 4 And if you want to keep consistency for 'first name'. You can even make it more casual with "Please use my first name!" at the end of the very last bubble //28 Last bubble: This is a stutter of the first line on the next page, so it should be "H—" //30 /2 All dictionaries are telling me you have to spell it "champagne" //32 Second-last bubble: This sounds like it was translated from like あせらす instead of じらす. I just want to make sure this is what you want boke. //33 /4 Bubble 2: This sounds like Ayako is unsure of the date as well. Changing the "right?" to "you know?" could fix that easily. //34 /1 I'm not sure where this "Too..." comes from /Last panel, bubble 1: "there's been" -> "you've had" would make more sense. Bubble 3: I don't think literally putting 'heart' because of 下心 is that good of an idea. Just "I would never etc..." is perfectly fine. //35 At the end of the second paragraph in the brackets, from what I've googled, 描く描く詐欺 refers to them /saying/ that they've been going to make an 18+ book about them over and over again but never actually getting around to it. Not that they've been trying to fit in sex scenes in their usual stories.