Page 06 >The cultural festival is around the corner and the works aren't yet done to put out! >The cultural festival is around the corner and we still don't have anything to put out! This line is just a little awkward Page 12 >Though after that, they went and held me off. I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean. Looking at the original, I think she's saying she got called out by someone she's calling 重じぃ. I don't think "held me off" really works here, and しかも isn't really a "though" here, it's more like "plus". I'd rewrite this line as something like "And after that, I got held up helping out." Page 13 >The wedding, when is it?! >When's the wedding!? Just a suggestion, feels more natural. Page 14 >What is about Kiko-senpai that you hate so much? >What is it about Kiko-senpai that you hate so much? typo >You're probably the only one in the whole school that dislikes something about Kiko-senpai. >You're probably the only one in the whole school that dislikes her. I usually see this structure of "nameのこと 好き/嫌い" translated as "likes/dislikes her". The のこと doesn't really mean "something about" the person, it's just encapulating them as a person. Page 15 >What could... >What do I hate about her...? or >Why do I dislike her...? this is her quoting back the question Mahiro just asked her, the なんで part. >So I asked the eternal ghost member―Kiko-senpai, to model back then. >So I asked the eternal ghost member―Kiko-senpai, to model. I think the "back then" is kind of confusing here, it really doesn't fit with the next line. It's like we're jumping from the distant past to the present. And I'm not sure where it's coming from in the original line. The したところ form is basically just a formal したら. "I asked her to help out, and now it's all like this." >It seems he's busy with club activities, so this month, he's taking few shifts." >It seems he's busy with club activities, so he's taking fewer shifts this month. just slight wording change, it feels a little awkward. Also, there's that extraneous "