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File: Hirari Vol. 1, page 073.png -(2175073 B, 1763x2488) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
2175073 No.2528  

One-shot, 18 pages.

TL: http://www.mediafire.com/?uyhkc4g7ewoo3jk

Signing up for editing this one.

>> No.21602  

http://www.mediafire.com/file/2c4szhlycfyoctw/Kawaii_Hito_Cleans.zip

>> No.25798  
File: A Cute Person.txt -(5677 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Who knew there were this many ten year old projects waiting to be re-animated? Content warning: Off handed comment made in childhood shapes life, Short hair redemption, off camera body contact.

>> No.25861  

I'll get started on this

>> No.25865  

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1irbWY1ui0h4UmBIt0HwUPHhNS_bYVrOx?usp=sharing

That wasn't too hard.

Here's what I added:

page 2 - whoosh (sfx)

page 9 - Yu... (handwriting above the guy's head, I think it's the yu hiragana)

>> No.25873  
File: A Cute Person QC 1.txt -(3007 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>25865
Here are some suggestions and some concerns regarding phrasing.

>> No.25875  

>>25873

I made the editing changes (pretty impressive you noticed the uppercase/lowercase "i"). And I also increased the size of all the thought texts slightly.

I think the outstanding concerns are:

  • the floating text on page 9 above the guy's head. wa?
  • the thought text on page 16. I get the sediment of the whole thing, but like you said about the flow, it doesn't read quite well... On panel 2, I did put quotes around "cute". I just noticed it was in brackets in the original.
>> No.25876  

>>25875

Pg 9 the floating text is "wa" so something like "Oh" "Uh..." or the like.

And the text on page 16 is pretty choppy in the original. But she's trying to indicate she find the whole package cute (including the hair cutting behavior) not just her face.

Maybe something like:

Why should it be...
That even though she's pissed...
It's not just that she's good looking...
But she's cute.

>> No.25878  
File: kawaii hito tl qc 1.txt -(3051 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Nice work everyone. I've got a few suggestions for line changes. As always, these are just things I'd personally prefer, so take them or leave them.

>> No.25883  

Updated the pages

I put "Oh..." for the page 9 floating text.

schuyguy, on page 8, when you said

> I think this might be better as "She's too cute", since あんまり sort of implies excess.

do you mean the whole bubble should be "She's too cute"? Or just the first sentence (like "She's too cute, like a doll or something.")?

>> No.25884  

On a side note, on page 8, when the guy says

> So hanging out with her makes you feel bad in comparison...

how did he come to this conclusion? Like what did the girl say that made him think this? Also, I have no idea who's saying what in the first panel...

>> No.25885  

>>25884

On a side note, on page 8, when the guy says

> So hanging out with her makes you feel bad in comparison...

how did he come to this conclusion?

He's just saying that Yui is so pretty that she would make anyone hanging out with her feel ugly by comparison.

And all the word bubbles on panel 1 and 2 belong to the dude.

Also, I have no idea who's saying what in the first panel...

>> No.25886  

>>25885

Ohhh, I thought it was a direct “you” as in directing specifically to Megumi. It’s not as negative as I first thought.

I think Megumi saying “and so what” in the first panel fits the conversation better. Otherwise, the guy is just talking a bunch, asking a question, and then answering it… but if the guy is saying it all, then he’s saying it all

>> No.25887  

>>25876

Also I updated page 16 with boke's new suggestions here

>> No.25888  

>>25885

So, looking at that first panel on page 8, I think the lower bubble is the same speaker as the prior one. Not, "And so what...?" The 何か there is verbal filler, not a question or pronoun. I'd put "And so, like..." or "So, y'know..." in that bubble, then get rid of the initial "so" in the next bubble.

>> No.25889  

I updated page 8.

Let me know if there's anything else or if there's something in the QCs y'all would prefer. I think implemented most of the suggestions.

>> No.25890  

Released.

Good work everyone.

>> No.25891  

>>25890

Yay!

>> No.25902  

I've updated the download link with a spelling fix.



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